A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've just broke up with a girl I've been seeing for around 6 months. We previously broke up 3 months into our relationship, largely caused by too much drink and a lot of baggage on both our parts. We got back together after that but the trust never seemed to return on her part. She refused to say she was my girlfriend any more. She said she just wasn't sure she wanted a relationship with me. We both admitted we were in love shortly after and spent the next three months seeing each other at least a couple of times a week. We had turned out to be an unusually good match for each other despite our earlier misgivings, both of us artistic and bright. Despite the lack of verbal commitment we were to all intents, having a relationship and we had agreed to be monogamous. It got to the six month mark and the lack of any commitment finally got the better of me. I was feeling very profoundly for her and knew from experience that the risk of staying with her with no commitment was too great. I also seemed to be getting less attention as time went on, fewer texts, more time spent between answering texts, some of our regular dates rescheduled to be with friends. She once started quite plainly internet chatting with someone she'd met at a nightclub in front of me, blowing him kisses, she said this was platonic though. She was also spending time with her ex though she told me it was platonic too.I was the jealous type when I was young and naive, but not so much since I've grown up. However, this situation had me pretty anxious. I decided that I wanted an answer to her uncertainty... we were together as a couple, or not at all. She said that if she had to make her decision now then the decision was that we should break up. I accepted that decision and said she should talk to me if she changed her mind.That night I went to a party and had a one-night stand in a bid to try and feel better. Details of this got onto a social networking site and back to her. She firstly said she wasn't going to talk to me any more, then called me in tears saying that this meant I'd been lying about my feelings for her. I was really surprised by this sudden show of interest when she'd left me the day before. She then told me she was thinking of getting back with me but after what I’d done this wasn’t going to happen. I felt a little abused... I mean we weren’t together and I just slept else to get moving on with my life. Does anybody else think I shouldn’t have done that?She's been on holiday for a week and got back. We're still chatting a bit each day, originally texting left and right and the main focus of conversation now seems to be how uncertain she is about getting back with me. Made worse by the fact she met someone while she was on holiday, to use her words. Her uncertainty is starting to sound like a poor excuse to me. I'm wondering if I'm being strung along.Should I wait for the girl I love to make her mind up perhaps getting what I want in the process, or should I get out before I get taken for a nasty painful ride? I’d normally run for it but I can really see a future with this girl.
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female
reader, Kuroneko  +, writes (3 November 2008):
I'm suddenly realizing that we as girls seem to do that a lot.
And my opinion is this: I'm sorry, but it's been going on like this for so long, and she does seem to be stringing you along, intentionally or not. The constant uncertainty is not a good factor, and even though you can see a future with her, well...if she's not on the same level, it might very well end up badly for her.
If you can bear to give her up, it might be better in the long run.
This is only my opinion. I wish you luck.
A
female
reader, im_a_dummy  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 well hun, im sorry to say this, but it seems like she is using you as a back up so she wont be single... i would move on and if u were ment to be with her you will meet up later in life... my mom met this guy in 8th grade they dated on and off all through high school.. then they both went there seperate ways, she had us 3 adn he did his own thing.... then my mom was on her way to a party and her car tire blew out on the free way and the only one to help her happend to be her 8th grade sweet heart now they have been dating for 3 years.... so like i said, if you were ment to be, later in life you will meet up again
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