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Should I wait around for him... or move on?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am 23 years old and I have two children. A son 3 and a daughter 1. My son's biological father died when he was six months old and my daughter's father has raised him ever since he was little. So that's his Daddy.

We had been together for almost four years and he breaks it off with me claiming that he can't make me happy and doesn't want to live that way anymore. Granted, we were fighting a lot and I dreaded coming home. I work and take care of the kids and take care of the house. He stayed at home and played video games, wouldn't keep the kids because he claimed to have stuff to do. HE was home all day and nothing would be done when I got home.

When he worked, the house was clean, laundry and dinner done and the kids were happy.

We are broken up. He wants to remain friends. Not even a month has passed and I was told by one of his room mates that he is texting his nineteen year old ex girlfriends, more than one, just talking he says and buying clothes for his future parmours to wear.

He doesn't see why I was hurt by this and tells me to stay out of his personal business.

I love this man with all of my heart and soul and i have no inclination to move on. The thought makes me physically ill, so my question to you is should I wait around for him or just move on because obviously he has no problem moving on from me and the life we had together.

Now I have to explain to my son where daddy is. I'm so lost and confused I don't know what to do. Someone help me.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, move on, roommate, text, video games

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012):

Move on. Not because he has but because he was bum! You know he was a bum so what t was just a matter of time before this was going to happen. I know the economy sucks right now but the least he could do was cook clean and watch the kids. That would have saved money on daycare costs. I know you still have feelings for him by the best revenge is success! Only keep in contact for your children and leave it at that. You still have the best years of your life ahead of you. Best wishes to you.

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (24 October 2012):

malvern agony auntYou are very young and I suspect your partner is too.

You have had to grow up quickly due to your children and you are clearly a very level headed and capable young lady.

Sadly your partner does not posses the same maturity. He's clearly had enough of being tied down and now wants his freedom. The good part is that he wants to remain friends. Is he going to financially support the children? For the childrens sake it is best to remain friends.

Unfortunately when a partner has made up their mind to leave there is little you can do about it. You can only re-build your life as best you can and hopefully your partner will eventually realise that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. It's early days yet and only time will tell but I do hope that your partner isn't neglecting the two children.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012):

No you can't stay

In your opening statements you say he says he can't continue

It's one of life's toughies

If one or other doesn't want it, then it can't be

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012):

This is terribly heartbreaking for you , I have been there . First question :is this relationship worth fighting for ? Do you see a future or are you simply clinging on for stability ?

I think you need a cooling off period apart , and then perhaps consider counselling as a couple to improve communication . You have a young family , that puts pressure on a relationship . Perhaps you need some quality time as a couple alone .

Focus on what you want and what will make you happy , do not save this for your children ...but for your self ..but only if it is what you want . Good Luck .

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