A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so, I have already asked readers of this site two questions on this topic. I want to give a brief prologue, about two months ago my bf started getting texts from another woman. When he realized I noticed it he told me that she is a friend in his class and that they really connected, she goes to him for her problems. I normally would shrug this off, but she texted every night I was with him for a month straight. She asked him about relationship problems between her bf and her, told him about her sister's cancer, molested when she was young. I told my bf to stop texting her and talk to her at school, he called me controlling and refused. He told me that she doesn't text that much. I backed off and tried to reevaluate the situation. It got to the point where she texted all of the time and we had another talk about it, this time I didn't tell him to stop talking to her, he told me that he stopped texting her and that he only talked to her because she was suicidal. The next day I told him to let this other woman know that since I have a mother going through cancer that I would help support her too. Last night we talked about his ex, I wanted to see if he could say something nice about her, he told me that she had been texting her ex, while they had been dating, without telling him. He said she should have gone to him about her issues that she had a bf and should have talked to her bf. I reminded him about the woman from his class and he told me not to bring it up. I stopped and didn't say anything more about this other woman. I told him if something is about to happen or does to communicate with me about it. He said I could approach him and stop things from happening if I think this other woman is flirting with him to step in and say something. I don't read his texts, he showed me who he talks to on his phone, not the text messages. How am I supposed to step up without reading his texts? I will confess a week ago I did glance through his iPhone at this other woman's texts. It only showed a week's worth and it was innocent. Her telling him to meet her and another woman friend of his in the library. Also, her asking how his day went and what he is up to. He is going to be going to boot camp for the air force reserves for about 5months in a couple of months. I want some input should I just end things before? I do love him and we talk about getting married. Also, tonight he left my house early to go home and usually we text each other I'm home, tonight he texted I'm here. I texted him half an hour ago asking what he is up to and no answer which is unlike him, when he is not busy. I am just so confused and need to know if I should try talking to him again about it or leave it or glance in his phone again? I need help, what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of the feedback I am just going to leave it alone and keep my eyes open
A
female
reader, unrequited0000 +, writes (30 April 2010):
I am in a similar situation. It is brutal. I know how hard it is to break things off, I have tried several times, but each time he calls I go right back to him, even though I KNOW he cheated.
All I can tell you is that this man you are dating is not emotionally mature enough to handle a committed relationship with you, he is trying to turn the tables and make you seem like the needy one, but in reality his actions are what's causing your doubts. It's a classic guy move, I too would be very suspicious of the way he did not text you back last night, and if you can...be strong and break it off clean with him.
If he is going away anyway to boot camp then there is no reason to keep him around and stop your life for someone who is not true to you. He is looking for drama with this other woman, and let him have it, and always wonder what he missed out on with you.
Find someone you can be yourself with, someone who doesnt fill you with doubts, someone you dont have to check up on.
Good luck!!!!
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A
female
reader, princessofGod43 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Sweetheart...sweetheart please...he is going into the service...and you guys only have so long with one another...if you love him and he loves you...concentrate on this love and make every moment count...if you don't have anything to give the other woman...such as an open door to your man she won't get in..but jealousy is one open door that can create a relationship with her..that will allow both of them to have you in common...your jealousy in common and that door open can lead to many things if you don't close it...right now he and her are talking about her problems...and you got with him for his heart..which must be pretty big...he cares about helping others...that's great now be a mature woman and let that be...don't criticize a good thing...if you love this man as if today is your last day...and you trust him...and don't let him believe you don't trust him...your love will grow...because believe me i am an ex marine...we have much access to others of the opposite sex...things you'll never know about...so do yourself and relationship a favor...and don't look for bad but good...and know and concentrate on the fact he loves you and won't hurt you and you can trust in him fully....you can never say what a person won't do...but just trust his love for you and your's for him...and don't feed the negative...God Bless
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