A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Three years ago I separated from my ex husband when I found out he was having an affair for the previous 9 months. Our divorce was finalized approximately 6 months ago.During our separation I reconnected with my best friend from high school and ended up getting pregnant. I have since moved closer to my best friend so that he has the ability to be a great father to his child. We had discussed the possibility of trying to build a more serious relationship before our son was born, but both of us agreed that we wanted to remain best friends to provide the most stable living environment for our son. Since I already had two children with my exhusband this sounded like a great plan seeing that I didn't want to have poor relationships with two fathers of my children.However, upon moving to the same city and spending all of our time together he has decided that it wouldn't be so bad if we were committed to each other. I have loved him unconditionally for over 17 years and my two older children love him as well. We have discussed that if we were to have an intimate relationship that it would have to work because no matter what it would crush all three children. My problem is that I'm afraid that he is going to get bored with me and find someone else just like my ex husband did. My best friend is divorced as well, and admits fully that he had an affair on his ex wife and that it was totally his fault, and also says that he has far more to lose this time around. I truly believe that people can change and I also know that he would be crushed if he ever did something that would hurt me.Should I trust my heart and believe his word - opening my heart to him....or should I listen to my head and turn off my heart before it gets hurt again?
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affair, best friend, crush, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 August 2012):
For now there has not been any red flags since he has been with you so I'd say take the chance. Good luck should u choose to do so and all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): He is now not just your best friend from high school anymore, he is the father of your baby. You keep on calling him your best friend, he is your lover, he ll be a big part of your life from now on. I deffinitely think you should at least try to be a family and Do things right for the baby.
You sound like you think he is a cheater and always will be.he cheated on his wife, it's not nesseseraly he ll cheat on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): how do you know he has changed? just because he says so? I'm sure he said a lot of things to his ex-wife when they were still married which were lies (like where he had been, who he was with, what he was doing, how he felt about her).
in other words I dont' think you should go by his claims that he has changed. his words are not to be trusted. If you're going to commit yourself to him, you have to do so knowing full well that he could very well cheat on you one day, and you have to go in accepting that this is the risk you take by getting involved with him. yes, you have to be willing to risk getting your heart crushed in the future. I'm not saying he WILL cheat on you for sure, it could very well turn out all right. But you can't know that right now.
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