A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for 4 years (4 years ago). My ex took me to court (a promise she made not to do at the beginning of the relationship b/c it happened to me before). I totally trusted that she would never do it. She did. We've been back and forth for 4 years (seeing each other for a month then off again for 8 mos, etc.) I don't trust her rash decisions/moves. We love each other but i am having a problem deciding on whether to give her another chance b/c of the trust, family, kids, friends, etc. (they do not like her for what she did to me). Do I give her a second chance?? How would I handle family and friends?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): Dear Poster
I am so sorry for what you have suffered; you deserve better; I wish I could help you to realize that you do not have to accept this treatment or this kind of emotional abuse; because that is what this is! Emotional abuse!
I URGE you to get professional help; please seek counseling and allow the counselor to help and assist you to deal with these emotional issues; you need to free yourself from it to be able to continue a good and healthy future;
I do not think you should even consider any future with this person; sometimes when a lot of damage have been done it is best to walk away;( call it a day)! Start new and fresh; it is not healthy to try and save or to continue with a relationship that is not working and if you have been to court and back it does not seem if there is an easy solution to your problem; the hate and bitterness in both parties will not disappear over night; you need to work through this with a counselor; not for the relationship, but for yourself to be able to MOVE ON.
Learn from this experience; set yourself free from this person and find somebody that will value you and love you; and most of all: somebody that will RESPECT you.
Yes, I know it will be difficult; this is not the answer you probably wanted;
BUT
I urge you; MOVE ON; get somebody to help you to deal with all these issues; you deserve the best; you need somebody that you can trust and that you can rely on; it will be difficult but not impossible; however, please get professional help; it makes it so much easier and takes so much less time.
You are in my thoughts and prayers; I hope you can Move On from this and in time look back at this and realize that it was just an experience and that you have learn from it.
Do remember, we all make mistakes, but we have to learn from it!Forgive yourself, and love yourself; do not blame yourself for the problems; you need to think about the future...tomorrow is a new beginning!
God bless, and lots of hugs and SMILES
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