A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my friends is having a birthday soon. He doesn't generally tell people his birthday but he told me once and I have a good memory for birthdays. I sent him a happy birthday text last year, too.Thing is, this guy is kind of a self-absorbed ass. I'm not sure if the title "friend" really applies so much anymore, the only reason I still see him and talk to him is because of our mutual friends. We used to be closer, but then he found people he likes better than me and drifted away without explanation. Maybe I took it too personally, but I was a bit hurt. I've stopped trying to initiate any kind of contact with him because he usually blows me off (although he turns up when he needs something). On the one hand I feel like I don't want to make any effort towards him at this point. On the other hand I feel like I'm way overthinking this, a birthday text is the nice thing to do and it only takes a few seconds to send. What do you think?
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male
reader, NoSleep  +, writes (6 August 2013):
I'm going to do something I usually don't do - Disagree with the aunts and uncles of this site.
I'm willing to take the "Turns up when he needs something" with a grain of salt and hear my out why;
I've been that guy. I've "accidentally" drifted away from people I really liked due to some personal issues, so maybe.. just maybe, he is going through some personal stuff himself? Now, that clearly doesn't justify his actions, but it's just something for you to think about..
Anyways. If he has congratulated you on your birthday(even if it's through facebook where it's public) then I honestly think you should send him a happy birthday-text. I sincerely believe he'll highly appreciate it and - if you want- it could bring you guys back together, something I also think he is yearning for.
But hey, maybe I'm just sympathizing with the guy cause I can relate.
Best of lucks!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 August 2013):
 I suggest that you send him a "birthday" text that reads:
"Happy Birthday, A$$hole"!!!
That should cut through the tangles of your dilemma....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (6 August 2013):
 I can't see any reason at all why you should wish him a happy birthday. Put it out of your mind completely and don't text him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 August 2013):
 That you can spare yourself the trouble.
You can't qualify this as a friend, he's not , since he does not care about the friendship, blows you off if you contact him, and only resorts to you if he needs something. More like an acquaintance at best, but... do you normally extend birthday wishes to ALL the people around you if they happen to mention their birthdate ?...
Plus, he made known that he's not fussed about his birthday and does not particularly care about having it remembered.
So, what would it be the point in a birthday text ?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (6 August 2013):
 You say he only shows up when he wants something. He evidently doesn't care about you as a person; just what he can get out of you - a favor of some sort, or perhaps money.
Therefore, no, I wouldn't send him a birthday text. In fact, next time he shows up wanting something, I recommend a short, sharp response "Sorry, no can do." End of discussion.........
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