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Should I tell my teacher of my feelings or just leave quietly?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2011)
A female Australia age 26-29, *ostgirl0002 writes:

I am 14 and wondering whether my teacher likes me too. I mean, I like him too and it has been 2 years. I don't know if I am misunderstanding the signs because I also have feelings for him. I think he is in his late 20s. He is so nice to me (and other girls too) but lately he has been trying to start a conversation with me. I don't think he knows my feelings for him because I know what the consequences are for both of us and usually try to avoid eye contacts for any other contacts with him. He once told me that he has a girlfriend about 1/2 year ago. But that was when I couldn't attend swimming lessons and sitting on a bench in the swimming pool area, he came close to me and asked about how girls get cranky during their periods (which I think is weird and tried to change topic). He always try to start a conversation and I always try to keep it brief and short. So in conclusion, does he also like me and if yes, should I just ignore it or reply his feelings?

ps. I'm leaving the country at the end of next academic year and should I tell him my feelings at the end of that year or just leave quietly (it wouldn't do any harm would it, since I'll go anyways)

View related questions: has a girlfriend, my teacher, period

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

Hi,

To answer as clear as possible to avoid confusion.

If I were a gambler I would bet alot of money that he doesnt like you in an inappropriate way.

But it is normal for teachers to take a liking towards special students who shine and are enthusiastic about the subjects they teach.

But there have been a whole host of incidents in which a teacher has engaged in an innapropriate relationship with a minor and this has resulted in them bieng struck of and imprisoned.

If you have feelings for him then it is perfectly acceptable to wait until you are past the age of consent. Then the law will not object to you both having a relationship.

The teacher would also be more likely to engage in a relationship because their will not be any fear of any concequences.

Hope this is clear for you. I have tried to stick to the facts for you and reccomend a course of action that will be appropriate for you.

UKLifecoach

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 June 2011):

Honeypie agony aunt

Don't tell him. There is nothing he or you can do about it anyways. It wouldn't be legal for him to pursue you.

Just accept that it's a crush, you will have more.

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A female reader, LaurenAmy United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2011):

hey there, im 14 as well and in the same position as you accept i have had a crush on my teacher for 3years... my answer to you is no. don't tell him. this will make him feel awkward around you and other girls from then on even if your leaving the country. he will start thinking to himself and will change his attitude, then you may of turned one of your nice teachers to a horrible one. he wont feel the same way as i have learned this. even when you think he's flirting. he wont be. just keep to yourself and just think to yourself, he would want other things then you would want. he wont be interested. hope ive helped you x

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 June 2011):

chigirl agony auntDo not tell him and spare him the embarrassment. Maybe you could give him a warning instead saying "You're really nice, and I don't know if you're aware, but some girls start thinking you have feelings for them since you're so nice, and I don't think that was your intention? So maybe you should try to be extra careful with the smiles".

It appears teachers need to be grumpy and mean otherwise students drop dead all around them. No, he's your teacher, and he's allowed to be nice to you without it meaning a thing. You're driven by hormones and easily charmed by authority, but rest assured that this is a phase you will grow out of.

Not only is it morally wrong and illegal, it is also a complete waste of your time to try to get with a teacher. Find a guy who's available instead, and when a man is your teacher he is not available. Nor is he interested, as you're just a little kid to him.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

RedAthena agony auntDeal with the facts here.

You are 14. He is in his 20's.

He is YOUR TEACHER.

Any outside of the teacher/student relationship is inappropriate. The converstations you mentioned are inappropriate.

I believe you are misunderstanding his freindliness and he is not keeping appropriate boundaries.

Keep your feelings to yourself and get a new teacher.

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