A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So there is this guy that I was working with on a project for the past two months. In these two months we became pretty close and somehow we developed a great friendship. In the last two weeks of our working together he told me that he liked me and that he had always wanted to say this but problem number one was that he had a girlfriend of 3 years and I knew this, but he didn’t like talking about her around me so I didn’t think that it was my place to ask questions about her anyway because it was his personal life. I liked him too and for once in my life I decided to live on the wild-side and in the hit of the moment we ended up having sex. During our two week - “adventure” he told me that I shouldn’t fall in love with him because letting him go would be difficult I really didnt argue with this point because it was true and I had the opportunity to walk away but I stayed. We couldn’t let our shenanigans be known to our co-workers, so we would spend the whole night together (go out and chat for hours and go over to his place) and be just co-workers the next day. He did say to me on several occasions that he wouldn’t mind starting a serious long-term relationship with me someday because compared to his girlfriend i am smarter and more interesting, we had a lot of things in common blah blah blah(i guess they all say that when they want some sex). But other factors that stand in the way of a commitment are:1) he has to serve in the army back in his country for 10 months 2)there would be distance between us and he doesn’t know if he would be able to come visit me anytime soon 3) He is white and I am black and in eastern-europe people are not too accustomed to interracial couples and he joked about by saying we would have to move to another location if we wanted to be able to walk down the street hand in hand.However, at his farewell party I never really got a chance to say goodbye the way that I wanted to. He simply told me that we would stay in touch (he is from another country not far from the one I am residing in although about a two-hour plane ride) and I pretended that I was cool with it. He did not have a Facebook account and he opened one specifically so we could stay in touch. When he arrived back in his country he sent me a simple straight forward message like “hie, I had a safe journey back home, how are you, I miss you. I will stay in touch. Kisses.”I replied but he didn’t reply back (its been a week now) and I decided to delete him off my friends list because I might post pictures of him and his girlfriend someday and this will just tear me up inside because I really liked him and had hoped for more (communication from his part) but realize it probably will never be because of the reasons mentioned above. So my question is should I send him an e-mail explaining to him why I deleted his account –not because I am angry with him but simply tell him the truth or should I just wait until he gets in touch (I am not too sure if he will though). Or should I just forget about him and avoid all contact with him because even though he treated me with a lot of care and respect he is not in a position to do anything about us and I want to stop stressing myself about this whole issue and move on.
View related questions:
co-worker, facebook, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jessmca  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 I would avoid him and try hardest to move on, it sounds tragic but it's the best way. Your the 'other' girl in his case. He cares more about his 3 year girlfriend then you. Your just the girl he can have fun with. Tell him the reason why you blocked him, and if you ever see him again just smile and wave and walk away and act like nothing has happened between you too.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 No I wouldn't. Just move on and forget him.
...............................
|
