A
female
age
51-59,
*eather0215
writes:Last night I borrowed mt boyfriends cell phone to text my children because mine was dead and I did not have a charger. His phone displayed several conversations that he has had with several people and one caught my eye. My curiosity got the best of me and I read it. I have never done this before, but very glad I did. Turns out he has been texting another woman he works with. There were several sexually suggested remarks. I am surprised to find him conversing like this to someone else. He is a very quiet and reserved person. Our relationship is less than a year old and we have a very good sex life. We are planning on getting married next year, and he brings it up more than I do. Also, he makes remarks to me about not flirting with other men, etc. So I was surprised to see him speaking to another woman like this. She is at least half his age and I believe she is married. And instead of using her real name, he gave her a mans name (which is displayed on the phone). Which instantly makes me feel he is hiding something. We work for the same company and I discovered who she was via her phone number. What should I do? I know it wasn't my business to look thru his phone. But I have to know if something is going on, and I want him to stop talking to her and realize how this hurts me.
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female
reader, heather0215 +, writes (10 September 2009):
heather0215 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advise. Haven't cared this much for someone in years and I don't want to waste my heart on someone who doesn't respect me or my trust. I haven't spoke to him yet about it...but he would have to be a complete idiot to not wonder if maybe I saw it. He knew something was wrong when I left. Lets see...inappropriate text conversation on cell phone, girlfriend borrows cell phone, girlfriend acts as if something is bothering her. I hope he is sweating at least a few nails.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): Keep in mind that if this type of behavior is happening now it will only be worse after several years of marriage. You can tell him the truth about what you saw and then leave him (don't accept his lies as it seems quit obvious what he has been up to)or you can just tell him that you no longer love him and leave him. Personally, I think you should just tell him the truth. I don't think you will ever be able to trust this guy and that is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): Houston there is a huge problem! The least of your worries should be his privacy and that you violated his trust -not that I think you should have-. In such a short relationship, him being this sexually open/flirtatious to another woman is a very bad sign. Huge red flag. Wedding reconsidering dilemma!! You should see if there are any other possible means that you could have found out and use it to make him confess. If not, just come right out and say it. Try to open your eyes wide for signs of him being accustomed to this type of behavior. Unless you want an open relationship, this might not be your guy.
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