A
female
age
41-50,
*andalyn80
writes:My boyfriend and I went on vacation last week, and we met up with his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend for drinks. My boyfriend dated this girl for about 2 years and he stopped dating her about 4 years ago. She emailed him the other day and he left his email open. So I read it. In her email it says she doesn't see how I'm really his type and she doesn't see me and him together. He responds saying we probably won't be together in 5 years. He just doesn't want to break up with me now because we do have fun together. What do I do? We have been dating for 2.5 years and we are supposed to move in together in October! Should I bring up the email? Should I break up with him?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (22 August 2009):
 It sounds to me he's a "love em and leave em" guy. He hangs out with you until the relationship gets stale enough that he doesn't want to rejuvenate it. Then he figures you'll probably walk out first (making him look good), or, you'll complain and whine enough that he'll walk out and blame you for it.
My advice, just tell him if that's what he's thinking, regardless of what he said to his ex, then you're headed out the door.
If he says something like, "I was telling her that to make her feel better", then I would ask him, "Why would you tell her that in the first place?"
It sounds to me like he's in it for some fun, romance and sex. But there doesn't seem to be a long-term and future plan here.
Moving in with him is probably not a good idea now.
Of course, he may have done this on purpose to get you to not move in with him, and in that case well there you have it.
A
female
reader, babyminow +, writes (22 August 2009):
 i know i am a little young, but i think you should be honest and be like, okay i dont want to move in with someone, who is only with me, cause i am fun to be with, not because he is serious about the relationship were in. i read the email, and if you dont think im your type then i will findd someone who does.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 There are two things you should be concerned about. 1. He still talks to his ex and he gives her personal information. 2. He obviously doesn't love you enough to build a future with you. Not only should you bring up the e-mail that he left open (perhaps that was intentional) but you should not invest anymore time on this guy. He's just using you.
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