A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this situation is really driving me crazy...I had mentioned that this guy (former college professor of mine) and I had become really good friends. We've known each other for about five years, been really good friends for about 2 1/2 to three and have been flirting back and forth since last summer.The flirting had really increased when I was home for Christmas. To make a long story short, I thought for sure he liked me as I liked him, but I didn't feel comfortable making the first move. So I went back home (we live several states apart and don't see each other) after the new year. We have not talked or emailed at all since we met - over two months!! which is extremely unlike him. I have sent him emails and called him a couple times, leaving one voice message; just keeping in touch (not bringing up the situation, just telling him how everything's been at my end and asking how he was doing) - absolutely nothing! I'm starting to get a bit angry now as he has been non-existent. I mean I know he's got a life and is busy, but nobody is that busy and, for all I know, he's been abducted by aliens! During this two-month stretch I have found out how old he is, which made up my mind about pursuing this relationship further. He's 59; I'm 25. I don't want us to be more as I know it would never work. I just want his friendship.Sorry this is so long - here's my question/idea: I'm thinking of waiting until sometime in March (giving him some space now) and sending out an email to him, laying everything on the table: explaining how hurt and confused I am about the silence and ignoring; telling him how much I miss talking to him even more so that I'm so far away from home, family and friends; and - most importantly - telling him I consider him a good friend and NOTHING MORE. What do you think? Do you think it's a good idea? I'm thinking that he got carried away with the flirting back at Christmas, later kicked himself for it, and is now trying to eliminate the "tension" by totally blowing me off, even though I don't want that; I just want his friendship.
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female
reader, Tattyana  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 It would be pretty difficult having a real friendship with anyone from that distance. If I were you I would be content to let it go altogether, especially since you clearly dont want a full-on relationship with him anyway.If could be that he also discovered your age and decided to stop the communication for that reason.You are sure to make friendships with people your own age and much closer location very soon anyway. I would just enjoy your life and leave that one down to experience.Good luck
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