A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a problem.My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years. 1 had just turned 16 when we got together, it was like we just clicked, everything was perfect.He was always so into his music, and i was so proud of his amazing talent. He had been in a band since he was 8, they didnt take it seriously, obviously they were too young! but when he was fourteen the band got two different members, changed their group name. they were so great together. they werent too serious about it, but then a couple months after we got together, they were playing at a small club when they got scouted. i didnt see him for a week after that, but he had called and text me all the same. they got signed and a record session was being organised. i dint know much about it back then because i didnt want to seem like the pushy girlfriend who had to know about everything he did.the had little tours after that, his guitar skills got better everyday, and even though he was away alot and i missed him terribly, i was just so happy for him. they had to leave school shortly after, they got recognised everywhere, and i was so afraid that he wouldnt have any time for me, that he would leave me.but he didnt, he made sure to see me as much as he could without angering the management. it just kept getting worse then,and i remember one morning, I had gotten up so early just so i could watch an interview of them on tv, i was not expecting to see my boyfriend gloating about sleeping with aload of different girls, so many that he couldnt even remember how many! My heart totally snapped, i was so upset. but i later found out that it was all rumours, a publicity stunt the record company had set up to get more attention. I didnt know though, but i forgave him and everything was as normal as it could be again.three years down the line and they're still going strong. They've even had success in the states!he has earned himself the title of being a womanizer and its killing me. he has changed so much from the person he was when we started going out, butt i love him.last week there was another 'girl' scandal. he has been seen flirting with a fellow musician, her hand on his knee, the laughing, the smiling and cheeky grin.he says that i shouldnt worry, it was just a normal friendly conversation, but i seen the spark in his eyes when he looked at her, the photos showed such a flirtacious atmosphere. it would be difficult to fake it.normal conversation? that's not what she had to say in an interview.He's coming to see me next week and i cant decide whether im happy about it, or if im secretly hoping it gets canclled at the last minute. I don't know what to say to him. nobody besides the band and managers and crew etc even knows that i exist!Im going off track here, but what im trying to say is, what would you do?i feel like this is going to tear us apart and that when he comes to see me it will be the end of our relationship. I dont want that to happen, i want us to be all smiles, fun and laughter, like when i toured with him that month.what should i do? its not like i can demand he tell the public about me? its not like i can tell him how much it stings when he says he's single when asked! his management would be furious as they think it would make some of the fans go off them.his parents want us to get married soon, he did too, but what if he's changed his mind?should i tell him how lonely i feel? I know we need to talk things out but what if it ends badly?so, i ask again, what would you do?sorry for such a long question.
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female
reader, happytobe  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 I doubt his band is getting all of their attention from the fact that "he's a womanizer." If I were you I wouldn't put up with that, and especially if you are supposed to marry him soon! His management may not like him openly saying that you two are in a relationship but it's not like they'll "fire him" for it. Talk to him, bring up these very important points. I think the flirting for publicity is just an excuse for him to flirt with other ladies. And good luck with this one, seriously.
A
male
reader, Bryce  +, writes (6 June 2009):
I think fate is fate. If you really hope it gets cancled i wouldn't do it. Definately tell him you feel lonely, but only if you want him to give you the time, otherwise i'd talk to some of your gf's :P
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