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female
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*athy
writes: My current boyfriend is going to be emigrating to australia in august this year, as i have no trade or enough money i cannot go. Ive got a choice whether to stay with him untill he goes or leave him now both of which i will get hurt. i dont know what to do for the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006): Have you spoken to him about this issue? Why is he going - for employment reasons, family reasons, something new and exciting?Do you want to go, if so, maybe there is a way he can help you out with the costs?Australian immigration laws are tough and people with skills or a trade have more options as more people want to move to australia than it can take! However, there are spousal visas available which you may be able to apply for once your boyfriend gets there,Perhaps you could see how you go long distance and discuss your options after he has been in oz for a while. Maybe he will not like it and want to come home, maybe he will help you get out there with him.It sounds like you haven't really had a good conversation about the options yet.
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reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (2 February 2006):
 Is he emigrating permanently? Has even the prospect of maintaining the relationship been mentioned? In the long run, and I am not sure on the technacalites of this, but it may be possible for him to bring you over as his partner. Without knowing the details it is impossible to comment on that.
There are pros and cons of both options. If you leave him now you do at least have the scope for him to take part in the healing process and support you to a better degree than if he was in oz. On the other hand you may find closure on the relationship impossible while he is still in the country, so you may end up having to go through all the pain again in August.
If you leave it until August then you run the risk it will sour the remaining months and leave you with miserable memories plus the pain of parting to deal with later. However if you approach the time positively as a blessing and make the most of the time you have together then you will still have the pain of parting in August but the blow may be cushioned by the happiness you have had together in the intervening months. The choice as they say is yours. I would be reluctant to say either or purely on the basis that you know how best you can cope with this and which option will be the best for you. Weigh the pros and cons of each approach carefully. Sorry I wasnt more help. Take care and good luck.
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