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Should I report my housemate to his employers?

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2021) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2021)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay everyone I know I’m being bitter but I’m just really pissed off at my housemate. Throughout this pandemic we’ve worked from home, but the thing is, he doesn’t actually do any work. He will tend to his emails in the morning for around 10 minutes and then just browse his computer and watch disturbing porn all day. I know this because 1 I hear it all, and two his search history is linked to the living room computer which we share and I use for work. I’m just getting really cheesed off that there are people desperate for work and he’s literally getting paid to flog himself and it makes me so frustrated. I don’t really know how to bring it up with him as he’ll then know I spied on the search history, which I know is wrong of me but I’m just at my wits end. We work for the same place, and I’m so frustrated that I’m constantly so busy and picking up all of his work and other peoples work when he’s literally doing jack shit. We work for a freaking charity organisation, it’s messed up. What should I do?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (13 March 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhy are you picking up his and other people's work? What would happen if you sat back and refused to do anything but your own work or your fair share of work? Without knowing what type of work you do, I don't know if that's possible. Would it bring this situation to a head? Would someone higher up start asking questions?

I get that you are grossed out by his porn watching, especially if you can hear it. That is inconsiderate. Perhaps you could ask him if he could use earphones when he is indulging so that you don't have to listen?

Are you tied into the tenancy with this individual? Given how you feel about him, I think you need to start looking to cut ties with him as soon as possible so that you only see him at work.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2021):

What you should do is mind your own business. The fact you're roommates gives you unfettered access to his personal-life; and if you were minding your own business, you wouldn't be (or couldn't be) bothered what he does in his own private time. I agree, the porn stuff is disgusting. You can ask him to lower the volume when he's watching it.

Exactly how do you know how much work he's doing, if you're not actually reviewing his work? Does he answer to you as a supervisor or his team-leader?

What about your snooping into his private search history? What if he was snooping around and spying on you, and sticking his nose in your business? I bet you'd blow the roof of the apartment!!! Your keyboard would literally catch fire, as you wrote a scathing post about it to DC!

If you're not his supervisor, and you don't know what tasks he completes over the course of an entire day. You have no business reporting anything to anybody. You aren't doing it out of any particular concern for the charity; so don't pretend that's what it's about. You're just mean-spirited, frustrated, and irritated; like many who are confined and cooped-up under covid-restrictions. You need somebody to vent your own frustrations on. Even if you have access to view his work, why is it up to you to be involved in reprimanding him?

Working from home has its advantages. With some employers, you can spread your assignments and tasks throughout the day; as long as you meet your quotas and submit timely reports. I don't know how your organization works, but if they aren't addressing his poor job-performance, who are you to do so?

Go ahead and report him, if you think that serves some self-righteous purpose; but there is a possibility that you're wrong. Be that the case, you'll be put on the spot; because it was only done out of spite and outright meanness. What should he do about you spying around in his private search history? You spend a weird amount of your time observing his every move and timing his activities? That's voyeuristic and somewhat creepy!

Addressing the noisy porn is one thing, but everything else is none of your business.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 March 2021):

Honeypie agony auntAre you the tattle-tale police?

Also, how do you know that YOU are doing his work? If you are, can you sign it? So they know who did it? Do you have the same boss? If so I'd bring up that you have noticed an increased workload. I DO think you should talk to your boss about you feeling like you have gotten more work and your housemate less. I wouldn't mention the porn to the boss because that just seems petty.

Perhaps another thing you might want to consider is getting your own computer. And perhaps a new housemate?

While I get that you are grossed out over his porn use on a SHARED computer (I would be too) it's not really up to you to decide what he can and can not watch. However, you CAN TELL him that you got porn pop-ups on the shared WORK computer and that is NOT OK. Or even better, perhaps block the sites from the computer?

Unless he is watching Illegal porn, I'm not really sure it's any of your business. Gross as it may be. Disturbing as it may be.

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