A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I quarreled with my boyfriend a week agoHe asked me to call him late at night, but I couldn't because my sister was asleepSo he was upset and made it a reason not to speak to me for so long.His birthday these daysI don't know what to do, what should I write in the msg.Please help me!Thank you in advance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2021): He's not speaking to you; so skip the birthday this year.
If your sister was asleep, why didn't you just text him?
When people are so angry with you they won't allow you to apologize, or try to workout a problem; once they shut-down communication, it is best to leave them alone. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive way to cause you to react just as you are. Confused, frustrated, and anxious.
He's punishing you. Why would you reward him for it? He's acting like a child. If he doesn't care his birthday is coming, why should you?
He decided he doesn't wish to speak to you. He knows his birthday is coming, and *bribing* him with a card or gift may not help the situation. He will likely pretend to be unmoved by your kind gesture; or be petty, and lay a guilt-trip on you for not remembering his birthday. You're damned if you do, or damned if you don't!
He initiated the no contact pause. Let him end it. Go about your usual business. You can't read his mind, and he shut you out.
If he gets upset with you for skipping his birthday, tell him you didn't know what to do; so you left him alone as he wanted you to. You thought he wanted to breakup. Maybe he does! It's been a week!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2021): OP, just pick up the phone and give him a call! It's called communication! Somebody has to make the first move. You won't know what is going on until you talk to your boyfriend. It seems like a silly reason not to be in touch for a week though.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (15 March 2021):
 I don't know how serious the argument was, but it sounds like the relationship has come to an end.
Maybe you could have made the phone call away from where your sister was sleeping, or gone outside.
You chose not to make the call, and now I think he is showing immaturity by ignoring you because of this. Is this a normal thing between the pair of you?.
I would take it that the relationship is over and refrain from sending any happy birthday messages.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (14 March 2021):
 Are you sure he still sees himself as your boyfriend? Perhaps the silence is his way of ending the relationship?
Or is this the way your relationship normally runs? If so, you need to decide whether this is how you want to live your life, with him sulking and giving you the silence treatment whenever you can't/won't do as he asks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2021): Just message and say happy birthday, the ball is then in his court to reply but you don't owe him an apology if you couldn't message him so don't pander to his tantrum, it's childish
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