A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:what are the pro's and con's of moving in with your loved ones?can anyone share there experiences, and is this something that wil be good for long term effect or short? i want my relo to last i am in a sort of LDR (long distance) but unsure if we shud speed things up and move in or stay seperate and enjoy our time missing eachother, thoughts? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 July 2012):
 Let me tell you my story:
Met my current partner in August 2010 (at least that he remembers), Tried again to get his attention in November 2010… Started Dating LDR December 2010… by late March 2011 we knew we were getting serious… our once month overnight visits went to every other weekend.. then to every weekend.. then 3-4 nights a week… by then we knew he would be giving up his apartment and moving down to my state and my house (now OUR house)…. Now we live together (and have since the end of December 2011) and are getting Married in October… not sure he would have moved just to SEE if we could work it out.
And I agree…
You say you are in a sort of LDR… what makes it SORT of… not that far? Or not that much of a relationship?
Moving to “force” things to speed up is not a good idea. Moving because you both want it is a good reason.
“enjoy our time missing each other”….. you HAVE to be kidding me… do you really ENJOY your time MISSING each other? That’s not good. While I LOVE a day out with the girls or the mall without my man and girls weekends every few months are fun… I loathed going to bed alone when we were apart. We could NOT come up with a single good reason for staying apart… IF you can, then maybe it’s not a good idea to move…. MOVING just on the CHANCE that an LDR could get serious is wrong.
MOVING for an LDR where you KNOW you want to be serious and together is a different story.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 That all depends on where you see this relationship going? If you are not sure he is "the one" I recommend you not move in, but just keep your options open. But if your feelings are strong, you will have to advance to the next step if you want anything to become more permanent. Long distance relationships tend to have a shelf life at some point.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I think if you can think of pros to being far apart there's a problem. The point of a long distance relationship is generally that there is an end in sight when you can be together. I suppose it also sort of depends how long you've been together and how serious you are. It's really a catch-22 if you are in a new relationship because it's hard to get emotionally close if you're so far apart, but it's hard to move in with someone you aren't emotionally close to. If you are serious about this relationship lasting, one of you needs to be making plans to move to be with the other at least at some point in the future. If you are still in a new relationship then move out there and find your own place. But somehow the distance is supposed to end.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 Well it all really depends on what you both want. Long distance can be very hard, but it can also be very hard making a big move and then things not working out. Have you both been together long? Have you both spent enough time together as a couple to know exactly what you want. Talk to your girlfriend and ask her what she wants out of this. Relocating closer to each other would only be natural if you are both wanting things to work out, but if the relationship is still fresh and new it would be better having your own separate places for a while until you are both sure it will work.
...............................
|
