A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, some advice please, thankyou.Iam 27 (maybe a little old for writing on here) and started dating a girl 4 months ago. We new each other briefly from college years ago and met up randomly in a different town. We dated and quickly liked each other. Unfortunately after 6 weeks she moved 250miles away for a different job and to start a new life. This was all planned before meeting me.We spoke about the situation but decided we both liked each and wanted to give it a go.Cut a long story short, 2 1/2 months of her living down there and we've finished. Her reasons were that she's happy there and doesnt want a second life, that when i visited we were in each others face for too long (i stayed for 4 days last time), she couldnt be bothered coming up to see me when it was her turn and she doesnt want to end up resenting me.At first i played it really cool, she kept texting and wrote me a card to tell me how special i was and that she wishes we could remain friendly. I didnt reply until she text me asking if i recieved it. She ended up getting mad because i didnt acknowledge it. But then U turned and apologised saying that she's just gutted about us. She ended up ringing me up the next day crying asking why i didnt care (i think i was playing things too cool). I ended up emailing her and opening up (losing my cool), telling her how special she was and that what we had was amazing and she shouldn let it go blah blah blah. She replyed, but it was pretty mundane, saying that she thinks she made the right descion, but also said that one day she will marry someone like me.I ended up ringing her, saying similar things what was in the email, she didnt really say much.So we left it there but then she messaged me again the next day saying sorry she didnt say much, she just didnt want to say something she didnt mean. We sent a few messages back and forth, i went back to being cool again. I felt bad though for not replying to her card so i replyed saying i didnt want regrets and told her how special she was again, and that i hope she has a wonderful life (it was all sincere). She thanked me.So finally she texted me again 2 days later asking 'hows things?', so i rung her up and told her i didnt want her to contact me unless i contact her (because it was all too hard for me, but i didnt say that).Sooooo, that was 8 days a ago, no contact since.I started to fall in love with this girl, we got on so well and i have never felt so strongly for someone. I maybe moving to where she is in 6 months, so we could be closer, should i put a 6 month plan together or leave her? If so, when should i initiate contact again?I hope this makes sense.thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Irishmelda,
I think she probably was just being nice, she is genuinley nice girl, doesnt like confrontation.
She confused me a little though, she turned to me just a week before and said "i really like you". And when she rung up crying because she thought i didnt care she said she didnt realise how much she liked me, and that what we had doesnt come around everyday. But i suppose she may have just been feeling like she was the one who was dumped and not me, after all its 10 times easier when you make the decision.
She was certain in her decision though, she said its not going to work. She didnt particulary want to discuss it.
We didnt fall out, we had fun, and if i had a second chance i'd know what to do second time round.
I know its not good to dwell on her, my life needs to move foward, but i really felt for this one, not like any other, i was saying that before she finished me.
The way it is at the moment it will never happen again thats for sure.
Do you suggest anything that may keep up the good memory of me in her mind? Try to be friends perhaps, or keep a little contact?
Or do you think any chance of our memory by the wayside now and i should wipe the slate clean completely? Be honest.
Thankyou
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): well your Story is a little complicated. If She really wants to be with you she'll try 2 make it work despite the distance and if she says she thinks you're special but won't be with you it could just be a nice gesture may be its time to let it go try something new if she s meant to be yours truly that will work out somehow. Don't do something too dramatic 4 something she doesn't really want -But this is only advice follow your heart
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 u should watch the Drew barrymore movie .... "going the distance". it will really help.
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