A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling so lonely. I live with a roommate who is also very alone. I satisfy myself by watching porn. I recently found out the I was the side girl with a guy who was cheatimg on his main gf and basically wasted 8 months. My family is not near me and I have like 2 friends here. Should I move back home? What's best? 3 years here and not achieving anything. No boyfriend, no meaningful friends, good job, good coworkers but not moving up career wise. I'm just feeling pathetic.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Yes family is needed but remember they are only ever a phone call away. Have a think about career wise what you really want to do with your life? Is it what you are doing now? If so then why are you not progressing? Is the job not enough for you? As for co-workers well they could also be friends if you get to know them a bit better. Also go out and try new things. Off course life can get lonely at times, I think we all feel that but we need to do something about it ourselves. Have you tried online dating? It may take a while but you will find something that works for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's great advice, thank you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2017): Sometimes we go through transitional phases when we make changes!
Its all about figuring out the new you!
Maybe you could study for a professional qualification so that you have new plans or maybe life will develop a new direction!
Many cultures value family very highly and you should appreciate family while you can.
Being the first generation American shouldnt be a problem too much as many others are in the same boat as you.
In these uncertain times many people are cutting their losses and sticking near family for financial reasons or otherwise.
The media hype of be all and do all just isnt relevant right now and many people are sticking near their roots.
Sometimes this can work out very well but if it doesnt work out at least you didnt ignore it as an option.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I just feel that i don't belong anywhere. When i come home I'm bored. I don't really have friends here either. Maybe 3 or 4 but no one I'm dying to see. My parents and I have a disconnect
They don't understand me really. That's because I'm a first generation American. They live outside of N.Y. which gives me a push. I might be broke and jobless from this transition but hoping it gets better if I land a good job, in N.Y.i can't stand the town my fam lives in although they won't move and I don't want to move to N.Y.. N.Y. has tight little Apts and I just can't deal
I'd rather commute. Nothing looks or feels good right now. I went to LA 2 weeks ago to get away and I felt even more alone. Family is needed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2017): The way I read it was that you want to go home and if thats the case you can do it anytime!
Your folks would be delighted and your future could take off in a different direction.
You dont have to stick it out when youve had enough.
Society does not demand it of you!
Many folk pack their bags and quit even just for a weekend if necessary!
If your heart yearns for you to go back and see your folks dont dither just do it!
Because its good for you if thats how you are feeling!
You are a free human being , not restricted by being in jail or otherwise so your freedom of movement is your own determination.
Sticking it out in the wrong place at the wrong time is futile and unnecessary.
If your heart yearns to go home then go.
I told a street cleaner the same one day.
The road glowed with his work but his heart was begging to return to his roots and he had people who loved him and missed him and a minor misunderstanding on his part that made him feel he couldnt return!
I went back to see if he left or not and Im happy to say he vanished of to a happier lifetime with warmth and laughter.
If your intuition tells you its time to leave then trust it and go back to those who miss you too!
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (5 May 2017):
 Then how come you haven't made any friends? Is it just that you are feeling generally low and run down at the moment? Would taking yourself off on holiday help?
It can be hard to arrange when you feel down but I'm sure a good travel agent might help you arrange something.
If you move back home will things be any better? It could give you time to get yourself built up again. How would your parents feel about that?
Also it sounds like you need to explore the job market. I would take a week's break somewhere nice and review your options. Things can look a little clearer when you get away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut I do a lot of things! I am always doing something
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (5 May 2017):
Have you done anything to improve your social life? It sounds as if you don't have one. In order to build a circle of friends you need to pursue different interests, hobbies, volunteering, sport etc.
Baby steps! Get out there. Get involved. Get doing something. And cut back on the porn' haha!
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