A
female
age
26-29,
*mallshezz
writes: hello i am 15 and i have been adopted sence i was 2 becoz my mum could not look after me and she did not know my dad or my brothers dad and my brother so my nan and grandad decided to adopted us. my mum used to come a visit me and my brother every 2 weeks for a few years up till i was 7 then she stoped coming and untill i was 14 i had not heard of her then wen i wa 14 she found me on facebook i have been talking to her and texting her but i dont want to tell my grandad or nan becoz my nan and grandad had a relly bad relashionship with my mum. she asked me if i wanted to meet up with her in the summer and i dont know what to do becoz ive been told to go for it becoz later in life i might regret it but the im thinking what if i regret meeting her. and my grandad has notised that sence last summer i have been more sad and then i relised that was wen i got in contact with my mum so that is anougher reson why im not sure . PLEASE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO !!!1
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female
reader, chaoslove2266  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 i agree, i think you should talk to your grandparents and get them on solid grounds with what is going on. i'm not adopted or anything but i know what this feels like believe me, i think you should at least try to talk to them and get them to undersstand. if you need to try breaking it down, don't tell them all at once tell them bits and pieces at a time, i find that helps
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Is there no-one else you can talk to about this??
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A
female
reader, smallshezz +, writes (22 February 2011):
smallshezz is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you everyone but its harder then what u think i cant go to my grandparents about it becoz my nan wont listin to me becoz ive tryed to talk to her about my mum before and there is something stopeing me going to my grandad about it x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): I think you should let your Grandparents know about your dilema. They will understand your need to see your mother regardless of how they feel themselves. Do not go behind their backs. You need their support. It is natural to want to see your mother but your Grandparents need to be aware so they can support you, as your feelings may be mixed and they have been there for you through your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Your story is a bit different to mine, in that your grandparents adopted you. I was adopted and i went looking for my birth mum when i was 15 and i found her. I did feel abit guilty to my mum and dad who brought me up. But i soon found out that my birth mum is just a selfish person and now i dont see her. But still i needed to see her and speak with her, after all she is my birth mum. I think you do need to meet with your birth mum to put your mind at rest and maybe ask her some questions about why your life is the way it is. Hopefully your grandparents should understand as to why you need to do this, i dont think they should worry as they are the ones who stuck by you.
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A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy +, writes (22 February 2011):
You should talk to your grandparents about it. You cant entirely be sure what kind of a person your mother is. She might be a wonderful person, but she might disappoint you as well.
I don't think you should let your grandparents prejudices affect what might be a very positive experience for you. But you must first be sure that it will be a positive experience. Talk with them, and spend some time conversing with your mother until you get a good idea of what to expect from her.
Give it some time, don't jump the gun, think about it. You have to prepare yourself for it. This person is your mother though, she is part of your family, so I do think you owe it to yourself to see her face to face, but give it time.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (22 February 2011):
I strongly suggest that you talk to your grandparents about this. They know you as a person and i'm sure that they will give you the best advice they can. You may regret meeting your birth mother, but then again you may not. Its a tough choice, but talk to your grandparents, they will be supportive i'm sure. Good luck
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