A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not sure where I stand or how to act. Been seeing a guy and everything seems to be going well, except we don't see each other often. We only really text to discuss when we can meet again. The 2nd to last time we met went great. My friends said it was obvious he really likes me and we were in public and it felt like we were a couple, and he seemed so proud to be with me and I felt really close to him. But the last time we met, about a week later things seemed awkward somehow. Like it was hard to talk to each other and he seemed a little detached. We had great sex. But something seemed different. We are both shy so I think this is a barrier. I want us to get to know each other better as I really like him and he seems to be really into me, and we have a lot in common. It just feels like there is a barrier of awkwardness and misunderstanding there. What I want to know is, should I make an effort to try to strike up communication between us ie text him more or ring him(doesn't feel quite right to ring randomly for a chat, but a text to see how he's doing?), or should I just leave things as they are and wait for him to contact me? he's away for a week and we agreed we would meet again when he's back. Should I be keeping in touch more? Should he? How can I know if he is just shy or inexperienced or if he's not really that into me? Or is the problem that I am overthinking and should just chill and let it unfold? I think I am worried that if we don't communicate more or spend more time together then we won't both get over the shyness/awkwardness barrier and get to know each other. Which is what I want. It seemed so great last week, don't know what happened last night :( He was in a bit of pain, maybe it was just an off day. Think I'll just text to see if he's feeling better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm that's what I was worried about, that he saw me as more of a booty call. But last week we were at a social event and we were acting like a couple. Plus my friends said it was obvious he is smitten with me. He has asked me out for his birthday and seemed really psyched we were together. He has asked me out for a meal, but that didn't work out due to timing and then lack of money. He seemed really keen at first, which is why we had sex so soon. I've tried to arrange to go out, but our schedule means we can sometimes only meet later in the day and he is the kind of guy who likes to stay in. He's too shy to come round my house because he's shy to meet my housemates. It's just diff to my lat relationship because we would be in touch every day for a chat or hang out, but he only lived around the corner. Maybe I should take a step back and let him get in touch next to see what he says. Maybe I am over thinking this and maybe I had too high hopes and should just see it for how it is right now and let it be. Sometimes we get on like a house on fire and I have no doubt he likes me, other times I am confused like this. Think I need to refocus on myself and stop thinking about him. I don't like where my head is going. Why does my brain always have to look for potential problems when I could just be happy with everything right now? He has been really sweet to me, I see potential, but life is what life is, no guarantees. I've recently lost a family member, so that's prob why I'm so all over the place. Maybe I need to just look after myself and hang with people who I know well and who I know will look after me and cheer me up.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Hi
Slow down,stop overthinking, your a new couple by the sounds of it so don't scare him away before you get a chance to develop it. He doesn't seem as keen as you yet, he sounds like he's taking it slowly.
Also,having sex so soon was a bit unwise - you don't want him to just see you for your body or end up as a booty call.If he's only communicating to set up meeting you theres a chance he already might.
Next time he gets in touch arrange to go out,try not to just stop in and do not be available if its a 'are you free tonight' message.Let him lead for a bit and see where it goes,keep busy with the rest of your life too.
No harm in sending a how are you message but dont bomard him with texts.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): I really don`t know this person. By how you have put it down, it sounds like he may not be as much into you as you would like him to be.
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