A
female
age
41-50,
*iss pink1
writes:hiI need some advicei have been with my boyfriend for 14years since i was 14.about 5 years ago we went through a rough patch and he used to ge violent and call me nasty names,which i put up with as i was still young ,then 3 years ago just as i was thinking of leaving he suffered a stroke and nearly died of course i have been looking after him since but now he is mentally back to normal and calling me foul names he does not really get out of bed he just buys things on ebay spending money we have not got an tells me to f== off if i dont like it , I dont really go out and all of my friend are out enjoying life some have babies , I am getting to a point where would like to maybe get married and have babies of my own but i cannot see how to dig myself out of a hole ,and to to it all he is now to lazy to go to the loo he **** in a carrier bag and when i question it he just shouts at me . what should i do ?please help xx
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Omigoodness! He should have been on his knees and kissing your feet to love and care for him like you do.
Listen..He does not deserve you. i know he's your first love, and it's hard to let that go. But if you want to be truly happy..say goodbye to this loser.
Do not have babies with him..because he will tie you down and ruin your life.
You will find the right guy out there for you. You have to believe that.
Btw..after you leave..he will act very nice and tell you he's change and he needs you. ectect. of course he does. He knows your the best he's going to get.
But he's not the best you'll get. So don't ever go back to him or you will regret it.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Get out now. you're being abused in so many ways in this relationship it's not funny. He's playing on your sympathy to keep you locked in this abusive relationship.
Oh, and you need to see a counselor. The fact that you have stuck around for all these years in spite of the abuse says that you are probably addicted to him, and will need some help getting yourself mentally free of his influence on your life.
But start planning NOW to move out. Get your things together, anything that you feel you just can't abandon, and be ready to move out. And make sure that you're no longer responsible for him financially, too.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 July 2008):
Why are you still with him?
Go and pack your bags and then the next time he tells you to fuck off say "ok then" and walk away.
He is never going to change while you are with him as he has no reason to. Once he has to clean up his own poo, he'll start going to the loo. Eventually he'll get a job because he has to.
Leave and don't look back. Once he sorts himself out perhaps he can look you up, but to be honest if he's been violent in the past, even then I wouldn't be with him if I were you.
Good Luck!! xx
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