A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,My question is should you stay in a relationship if the guy you have been with (we have been together 4yrs) has feelings for you but there not as strong as yours ,he just tells me he likes me very much.but i am in love with him.he knows this. i really don't know what to do as it's so hard to be in love with someone who in return only likes you.other than that we get on great but i miss having someone tell me they love me also i am always reluctant to tell him i love him as i don't feel right sayin it when he does'nt feel the same Should i just walk away and find someone who is willing to love me the same way. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Is he willing to settle with you for good, or not? That is the question. After 4 years this is pretty clear in the minds of most people, if you've seen each other consistently. Especially at this age one would think you don't precisely want at all costs to waste time in a relationship that you know isn't going to give you what you want. I'm talking about him. Why do you think he is in this relationship for?You say he has feelings for you but they're supposedly not as strong. In a relationship one usually does love the other more. That's inevitable. Also, at this age after, shall we say, 5 failed relationships, you can't love in the same way as you do in your first one. So if he is none the less affectionate, gentle, cares about you and commits to your relationship, stumbling over such motives seems a bit silly. If he is commited to you, that is more important, and if you can actually see yourselves growing old together. All the best.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 This is a hard problem to deal with, and you certainly have my sympathy. I can't give you a fast and easy answer. You have to decide for yourself if you can deal with being liked and having affection but missing out on real love. I personally don't think I could do it. I would always feel so sad in my heart and wish all the time that things could be better. At the same time there's no guarantee that you could find someone who compliments you so well.
I think in your heart you know the answer, and that is you can't settle for this because you're miserable. Again, I am so sorry.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I would think after 4 years he would know if he loved you or not. I would say he is more like a friend than a partner in other words he loves you but is not in love with you.How does he react if you tell him you love him?
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