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Should I just try and forget these feelings I am having??

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Long distance, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2008)
A female Mauritius age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am 24 yrs old and married since 5 yrs quite young and 10yrs with my hubby ,i dont have any kids. We were in love since i was at school ,our married life is very nice its just hubby works a lot so do i and we don't have enought time together but we really love eachother never been unfaithful.

The thing is since 1ys i know a guy live in uk i dont know i have so many feeling for him we chat everyday we sms each other. He know that am married and don't want to spoil anything so do i but thing for me its very difficult i think of him all the time just want to be near him.

The other problem is that he's very far from me i live in mauritius and he lives in uk.

I am so scared of the feeling am having and dont know what to do or think i love both so much and dont want to hurt anybody

Should i try to forget those feelings am having pls helppppppp

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008):

i guess it depends only in ur feelings. if who you love most. but if i am in your position right now? i would forget the guy in UK because u really didnt know his true behavior. he might be good in the computer but in personal, he relly sucks! and he might be fooling u...hehe

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

I'd say the guy in the UK is a non-starter unless he pays you a holiday visit. I suppose a lot depends on how you met him - face to face or over the internet or whatever as to how easy it's going to be to put him out of your mind.

Everyone looks at members of the opposite sex, and I'd call them liars if they said otherwise (homosexuals excepted of course) but you have to contain these feelings. You love your husband and have a happy marriage. If you value your marriage, why go and upset the applecart by acting on these feelings if you should ever get the opportunity. You're treading on dangerous ground and unless you're looking for divorce you have to put Mr UK in the dustbin of your mind.

What you and your husband need to do is put some time aside at least once a week for some 'us time' to rekindle your relationship and put some excitement and sparkle back into it. All work and no play makes Jack an unhappy boy. The same goes for Jill.

If one man isn't enough for you, a dozen won't be too many. If you're unfaithful once, the chances are it will be extremely exciting, the forbidden sex and all that, so you'll do it again. It's not so different to being hooked on any kind of drug. The more you have, the more you need.

You know I'm talking sense, but I guess you just needed someone to tell you what you already knew.

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A male reader, jay12toes United States +, writes (5 July 2008):

jay12toes agony auntthese feelings your haveing will only hurt your relationship so it would be best to avoid them. whens the last time you and your husband went on a date? i believe that its very important to have a date night at least every 2 weeks. me and my fience started going out to dinner every sunday and it has been really good for us. just make time for eachother now and then.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

I suggest you stop all contact with this guy in the UK; this is greating emotional conflict and turmoil within you; Concentrate on your marriage; try and spend more time with your husband and try and make the best of the time you do have toghether;

Best wishes

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

Maybe you should try to remain just friends with the guy in the UK, you may love him, but you also love your husband, and as you said would never be unfaithful to the other, the thing is, you may know a lot about this person in the UK, but how do you really know whether he's telling the truth about anything he says? I'm not saying he is a liar, he seems to care for you, so much he doesn't want to spoil your marrage. You can't exactly forget feelings, you may feel different, but they'll always be there, so maybe you should just remain friends with him, it would probably be pretty hurtful if your husband found out. Basically you just have to think about everyone else, including you ofcourse, becuase this may effect more people than you may realize, so take everything into consideration and good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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A female reader, pinay23 United States +, writes (5 July 2008):

pinay23 agony auntyou should stay with you husband if you really do love him. And you've been together for so long I bet you wouldnt want to break that bond up. I think you'd be better off with him because a long relationship like that is golden. =]

a person from the internet or your husband that knew since eva'.

your choice.

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A female reader, Fabulous Fairy  United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2008):

Fabulous Fairy  agony auntHey there,

I think more than anything you are lonely. It sounds like you truly do love your husband but you just dont get to see each other enough. You are getting all your emotional support from this other guy from the UK when in reality you should be getting this from your husband.

I doubt very much that it will ever truly work out with this guy from the UK and i think that deep down you know this too.

What you really need to focus on is spending some time with your husband again, go away for the weekend or if you cant do that go out on a 'date' one evening. Dress up and go out for dinner, talk to each other and re connect. You have shared so much of your lives together its worth you both putting in the extra effort.

Good luck :-)

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