A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't understand. We broke up but he keeps coming back to me. He told me he doesn't want a commitment but when I don't call him he keeps calling me and I go back. He is all lovey dovey like a true relaionship even talking about us vacationing together and the Christmas party "WE" are going to have. He holds my hand in public, kisses me, etc and inf front of our friends. But then he retreats for a few days and then calls to get together again. His behavior is just perplexing. Should I just take it slow for a couple of months and if it doesn't move forward, move on. If I bring it up to talk he is not good at that. I repeated what he had said to me a month ago about the non-commitment and that seemed to make him upset. Any advice? Is he just afraid? I was his first "girlfriend" in 4 years. I know we need to talk but I don't want to push. Should I just remain light and friendly for a while and just have fun or WHAT?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 September 2009):
Well you haven't said what you want from him.
If you want a boyfriend then stop letting him mess you about!
If you are happy to mess about and enjoy his company until something better comes along then go for it.
If you want this guy then tell him you can't be used and hurt by his actions. He's either with you or not. Then cut contact and see what he does. 9 times out of 10 they'll suddenly get over their fear of commitment.
Good Luck!! xx
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