A
male
age
41-50,
*arrybaggs
writes:My ex gf has been in contact on and off in the past few months. after we broke up, we didn't communicate for around 6 months.Anyway, recently I believe she is suffering from depression or something similar. She told me online that she feels demotivated, can't do even basic things she used to enjoy and is having trouble focusing on college work. She was prone to bouts if moodiness in the past, which I attributed to her personality. If what she's told me is true, she's gotten worse.So basically, I don't know what to do. I've told her if she needs to talk or anything I'm here. I've also told her if she wants to do anything, I'm here also. She was always difficult to open up, so she never said much about any of these offers. Do I leave it like this or keep a closer eye on her? And should I ask her to do something specific like catch up to do something at a certain time on a certain day? Because if her being an ex, there might be some awkward stigma of us doing something together. Basically I'm unsure what to do. She's an awkward, difficult girl but I don't want to see her, or anyone for that matter, in this way.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I think it's admirable of you to want to help her out. Here are the things I'd be weighing in my decision to help her out:
Does she have a history of manipulating me?
Does she have any other support network/friends who could help?
Would she be willing to see a therapist if I suggested it?
Could this be a ploy to get back with me?
Really, I'd be trying to get at her intentions for coming to me with this. On the surface it could be a call for help, but there could be levels underneath to consider as well. However, if you think she is in risk of hurting herself, then you may want to intervene as her contacting you could be a desparate call for help. If you know any of her close friends, you may want to talk to them about her as well. Let them know you're concerned about her and see if they've noticed anything.
A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (11 August 2010):
erm the situation is fairly tricky here... to be honest i am sure she has alot of friend even if she hasnt im sure she has atleast a few very close friends that would help her get through this... i kinda think that it isnt your place to be too involved anymore esp if you are in a relationship yourself as that could make it very awkard for the other person...
i understand that you may still care about her but i also believe that she probs has moved on and is more independent than she was when she was with you... i also think that honestly sweetie she probs has her family and friends close by to look after/ keep a close eye on her so there really isnt any need... though dont get me wrong always check up once or twice to see if she is doing ok...
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A
female
reader, T-Marie +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Hey there,
My husband and my dad both suffer from depression, what you are describing sounds alot like it. She may not actually be that much of an awkward, difficult girl after all, she may have been suffering for a while. You should keep a closer eye on her and try to encourage her to see a doctor about how she is feeling.
Hope this helps xxx T
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