A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 34 gay man and haven't had a sexual relationship yet. Being this age now, I feel frustrated for not happening. I have a kind of boy friend who doesn't want commitment but likes me and I like him, we've being seen each other but since I don't let him get to that point, he's kind of away from me now. I think he's enough to enjoy ourselves and stop waiting for Mr.Right. Should I go ahead and do it already? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (19 October 2009):
 So glad we could help. Goodluck!
~Sy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice girlfriends, I really appreciate all your words that come from experience, now I can tell you I know what I'm going to do with my life, a little change is coming but I'm glad of it and again gracias for your sincere words...
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (9 October 2009):
It is a wonderful thing to wait to find the right one. I wish I had done it, or at least waited till I was a bit older. But is it worth walking out on love, or pushing it away? Would you rather be alone for a while and not have sex, or have someone in the meantime, and have sex?
Sex is very importnant in adult relationships. By refusing it, we leave the other thinking he's not good enough, or not attractive enough, or not special enough to cross that line. So those are your two choices:
Spend your time alone and stick to your goal, or have companionship and toss your goal.
It's love or intergrity and you have to decide which one is more important to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): Do what makes you happy. If he is pulling away because you haven't had sex that could be a sign that is all he wants you have to make the choice if you want a commitment get a commitment first. If you want to have sex do it, trust your heart you know you best and what feels right for you, don't feel pressured into doing anything you are not sure of. Think it out first.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (9 October 2009):
 If you're ok with having sex in a non-committed relationship, then go ahead and do it, but again like rhythmandblues said, YOU are the one that needs to figure out if you're going to be ok with that. Now there is the possibility that having this sexual relationship with this noncommitted guy might make you grow closer to him, even knowing that he is noncommitted. Will you be able to handle this? Can you approach this relationship from a casual perspective and not let him get (correction) to you in any deeper way than that? Are you the kind of person who is able to do that? Do you even know if you're the kind of person who can do that, given that you've never had sex? In other words, can you have casual sex, or must you be in a serious relationship to have it? I have a friend who is just about your age 35, and because she has not been able to find Mr. Right she has never had sexual intercourse, because she finds casual sex in her own words "reprehensible." And then there are people who are more than ok, and even think it mandatory, to rack up double digit numbers of casual sexual partners. If you can keep your distance from this guy while having sex, then go ahead and do it, but you need to figure out if that is you, or if it is not you.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (9 October 2009):
If you're ok with having sex in a non-committed relationship, then go ahead and do it, but again like rhythmandblues said, YOU are the one that needs to figure out if you're going to be ok with that. Now there is the possibility that having this sexual relationship with this noncommitted guy might make you grow closer to him, even knowing that he is noncommitted. Will you be able to handle this? Can you approach this relationship from a casual perspective and not let him get you in any deeper way than that? Are you the kind of person who is able to do that? Do you even know if you're the kind of person who can do that, given that you've never had sex? In other words, can you have casual sex, or must you be in a serious relationship to have it? I have a friend who is just about your age 35, and because she has not been able to find Mr. Right she has never had sexual intercourse, because she finds casual sex in her own words "reprehensible." And then there are people who are more than ok, and even think it mandatory, to rack up double digit numbers of casual sexual partners. If you can keep your distance from this guy while having sex, then go ahead and do it, but you need to figure out if that is you, or if it is not you.
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A
male
reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (9 October 2009):
Yes, for the love of God, go ahead and do it already.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): No one here can tell you the answer to your question.
You can give yourself permission to make that choice on your own. I don't know your core values, I don't know the reaon you are waiting, I don't know your feelings for your current guy or your reaons for not wanting to wait any more.
What ever you decide is fine, honey, because only you can make such a personal choice for yourself.
Can I guarantee that you won't get hurt or regret your choice, NO.
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