A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I give this relationship more time or just walk away now?I am 31, a single parent, rent a house of my own and work 5 days a week. My bf is 29, lives with his parents and works part time. We been dating for almost 2 years. Things started off well, however there has been no progression in the relationship. I have not met his parents or any of his family (which also means I have never been to his house since he lives with his parents), I have met a handful of his friends and most of them only once or twice. He has spent time around my son maybe 4 to 5 times for short periods of time. He has briefly met my mom and 2 of my siblings. We have discussed this in depth and all I get is excuses. He will tell me that he needs to clean the house (which takes days...) or that he will think of something fun (He thinks of nothing...) or the latest is that he doesn't want to have me meet his parents since our relationship is on the rocks. I try to include him in the things that happen in my life...such as my sons sporting events, outings to the beach, birthday parties, etc...which reminds me!!! We have never spent any holidays with each others families! He either declines or makes excuses, example...I invite him to the beach, he cancels and says he doesn't feel well and then goes for a distance run!!!The only time he actually follows through on any plans are when they involve only the two of us and its later at night, after 9pm. All of this has left me feeling like I'm not good enough, our relationship isn't good enough. I also have no trust in him because I feel hidden. I am starting to really feel strung along. I feel like he only wants me around to entertain him in his spare time. I started to pull away and now he says he wants to take our relationship to the next step and move forward but then its only more broken promises and new excuses.Should I move on or stick it out and hope things change and he starts to create a relationship with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): There's no question about it, you need to move on. He doesn't take you seriously nor has any intention to. All the signs are there. My boyfriend did this to a girl too before he met me. She too had a son, single mom. He would never follow through with plans, blow her off, only see her/contact her late at night, rarely brought her around his friends and family, didn't spend time with her and her son. She let him string her along for a couple of years hoping he would come around, to no avail, he never did. The reason I know all this is because I saw an email she had sent him detailing all her frustrations. He has been with me for a couple of years and to this day she still contacts him. She probably still hopes he "changed." There is nothing to change, he just didn't love her. Don't be that girl. You should break up with him because as soon as he meets a girl he is in love with, he will move on quickly leaving you feeling used and awful. Especially when you see him do things for her he never did for you. Don't wait for that to happen. Save your dignity and move on.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 June 2013):
 "Sounds" to me like he isn't exhibiting much interest in you or a close, warm, loving and more-encompassing relationship with you..... Soooo, I'd suggest that you bail out, now...
P.S. Are the two of you intimate? If "yes," that THAT should come to a screeching halt....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 June 2013):
 this may sound a bit odd or suspicious on my part, so forgive me if i'm way off. but are you certain that he actually lives with his parents? he couldn't be married or living with someone else, could he? crazier things have happened. it is incredibly weird he won't have you over to his house ever, and let you meet his parents. i mean, not once in two years? what is he hiding? i feel like he's keeping something fromy you. i'd want to get to the bottom of it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (21 June 2013):
 You are 31, you have a very long life ahead of you and many experiences and opportunities to meet in your life...none of which you can enjoy or proceed with all the time you are tied to a dead weight.
This guy has had two years to build and grow with you and all he has given you is late night hook ups and excuses!!
What a waste!
Absolutely finish with him. Do not listen to his whiney half assed attempts to cling on to you...it's a little late for that isn't it.
Always remember this saying, have it tattooed on your body if necessary:
PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE!
Cast him off, you already know you want to. You have a job a home and a child, a good foundation to bring someone new and loving into your life and there are loads of guys out there who will treat you so much better than this...so why wait?
31 will turn to 41 and then 51...Don't waste your life on a loser who messes you around and makes you unhappy...
Keep moving foward xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): I think if you read your post you will have your answer. This man has no ambition, and he has no interest in being a father.
His arrested development doesn't even allow him to move out on his own and to fully support himself.
He cancels dates and offers no plans; because he doesn't wish to establish any connection with your son.
What are you getting out of this relationship?
He doesn't even want you to meet his parents?
Please kick this loser to the curb.
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