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Should I get away from her? I'm having trouble keeping my emotions at bay

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2014)
A male age 22-25, anonymous writes:

We've known each other for about a year now. In the beginning, I always thought she was pretty but never felt any real attraction to her, mainly because I was seeing someone else. She also said that she thought I was cute but she too was with someone. a month later, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend simply because of incompatibilities. Even though I knew I shouldn't, I start growing feelings for my friend.

I confessed them to her but she rejected me saying that she was already in a relationship. Fast forward a few months later, she's single now. I told her again how I felt but she said that she couldn't return the feelings. I assumed it was because she was still hooked on her ex. We remained close friends. I vowed to myself that I would never again tell her how I felt. For a while now we were great. We've always been close to the point that we hangout a lot. I've been to her place and she's been to mine several times. She even slept over a few times while I took the couch out of courtesy. She said we could both fit in the bed but I felt I wasn't comfortable with that seeing as how I didn't want to be tempted.

Many times we hung out, I question in what light she sees me. I often wonder if she just thought of me as a best friend. There was even a time I went over to her place and she undressed down to her panty and bra in front of me, changing out of her day clothes. She then put on a shirt but left her pants off and continued to walk around like that. The shirt barely came down to her waistline. She seems to be comfortable around me because she didn't mind if she caught me staring a few times. A part of me wanted to make a move but another part felt that it would be a bad idea. I didn't want to risk this friendship with her. But maybe that's the problem with this whole thing.

A few days ago, she asked me to help put on a bracelet on her wrist. I got in close as to get a good look at what I was doing. I noticed that she would sometimes stare deeply into my eyes and then look away. the moment was quiet and tense. The whole time I could tell she was fighting to keep from smiling. I had to pull her wrist closer to me, in turn bringing her face closer to mine. A million things were running through my mind as I looked up at her again, faces only inches away, her eyes on mines. I swear it must have been an eternity before she started giggling uncontrollably and looked away.

I really don't know what would have happened if we kept it up for another second or two. I find that I'm starting to have deeper feelings for her but I silence them because she has already turned me down twice. I like hanging out with her but I feel I need to get away because I don't know how much longer I can keep these emotions at bay. What should I do?

View related questions: best friend, bra , her ex

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom + , writes (30 June 2014):

02DuszJ agony auntShe knows full well how you feel and if she doesn't feel the same, she's being a pr**k tease tbh... Giggling, inviting you into her personal space, coyly prancing around half naked? Come on this girl has got you in a mouse trap, and unless you make a big effort to free yourself- by being BOLD and upfront about your feelings, you're guna stay there.

I know she's already rejected you twice but from the sounds of her actions, she may well have changed her feelings... I honestly don't believe that a close male- female friendship can stay platonic forever, eventually something is guna start to grow, things change and you see each other in different ways. I've seen it happen many times... And guess what? Rejection happens just as much... So try one last time.

Unless she now feels something for you, she's leading you on, for whatever ego boost she wants...

Either way whatever her response it could well end up in heartbreak... Particularly with this girl. But you'll just stay stuck if you don't take action. Honest Communication is key in any relationship with anyone.

In meantime chill, work, take up a new hobby, whatever u can/ want to take your mind off things. If she DOES reject you this time, it's definitely worth putting some space between you both, so you don't drive yourself mad!

Wish you well :)

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A female reader, OuttaTime88 United States +, writes (30 June 2014):

OuttaTime88 agony auntYes, I would keep your distance. If she turned you down twice, I doubt she changed her mind now. She likes that you desire her, it makes her feel good. Don't misconstrue it as interest. She is only interested in friendship.

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