A
male
age
,
*aptnjohn
writes:Ok i get married to a wonderful lady to help her out of a bad situation. we have been married almost two years. i love her but am not in love. I am 54 years young. i think everyday about how to get out, but don't want to hurt her and dont want to be alone. she has some issues with drama and not being emotionally stable and i am afraid she may do something drastic if i leave her. its hard to find a good woman thes days, but not being physically attracted to her is hard. mentally attracted yes. I have been in love before and know what it feels like!question: should I end it, and look to find real love, and to be in love, or just be happy I have some one who loves me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 It is really hard to find someone who is good now, do you think that if you end up this marriage, and look for another women, do you think that the other women you will find new will be much better? every one has a drama in their life, maybe she really had an issue before and i think this is the time you can show her that you love her, this is the time she need real understanding and love. If you let her go maybe she will really fall down. of course its not your responsability it is still you who will decide. but its precious to have someone who really love us. i will give her a chance if i were you. and i will give another good time to our relationship. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): There's also another book that might help you work out your marriage. The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. I think that you must've loved her before, if not you would've not helped her out of her situation. I think this happens in marriages often. You get used to that person and start becoming bored or something like that. So, you should always work it out before you give up on your marriage. Try everything you can.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 January 2010):
 I am not attracted to drama and would rather stay single. There are "loving couples" feel lonelier than free spirited singles. If one is emotionally unavailable I would feel trapped, and my energies drained.
It's not hard to find another. There are much more women in their 40's and 50's who say a good man is hard to find. You are still young.
I believe you entered this relationship because you couldn't stand to be lonely.
If therapy does not help her I would say end this relationship.
To love is to let go. Do not settle.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 January 2010):
You married this woman, so you must have loved her. It would be a shame to end it without at least trying to put more effort into it. Get to know her again, spend more time together. Maybe her problems have just kind of blocked how you feel. Get to know her again, take her out, spend time with her. Your marriage is at least worth a shot.
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