A
female
age
30-35,
*izz.butterflies
writes:In September 2007 I moved to this other country (Place A) to go to college there. December 2007, 2 days before my flight(I was going home for Christmas) I met this guy at the club I always went to with my girlfriends. We went outside, started discussing politics, everything you could think of.. the chemistry was amazing.1 day before my flight, he called me but I hung up on him cause I thought it was a prank call. He had blocked his ID so I couldnt call back. Now,I was supposed to go back there after 15 days, but eventually I stayed in my home country cause I was diagnosed with a disease. I took the spring semester off, but after 2 months of staying with my parents I decided to go back to place A(I was no longer renting an apartment, since i took the semester off. I stayed at my girls).I went there in February.February 2008I didn't have his number so I couldn't call him. After some days, we run into each other at that same club... We were so excited to see each other again. We danced and talked. The next night he didnt come to the club... I called him and asked him to come. He was in bed, about to sleep but got up and came. He told me never in his life he got ready so fast. So we danced a bit and then we went to a restaurant. There he told me he had a girlfriend. I said "I'm kinda dissapointed but I glad you told me"... I couldn't believe he's so nice and honest. We left the restaurant and walked to his house. He put on a movie to watch... we had a wonderful time. The next night he asked me to go with him to this other club. I said yes. He treated me very nice. When we were in the club, he tried to kiss me but I avoided it. Then we went outside and i asked him why he did that since he has a girlfriend. I said to him "don't do with me what you wouldn't do in front of your girlfriend". We went to his house and he was in a very bad mood. He started punching the wall..lol...saying things like "damn it you're a stunner bla bla bla bla but I can't leave her, we've been going out for 4 months now, what would you think if I dumped her? Wouldnt you think I could dump you like that as well?" so,I said to him "Your relationship with her is like a building... and if you get with me it will be like jumping off that building.." he said "will there be a parachute to rescue me?" and I said "No,you will either have to take the risk of dying or just stay on that building.." meaning I can't guarantee our relationship will be smoothselling. then I said "you say you want me but you're a coward..." and he said "what?" and grabbed me and kissed me. We were kissing for ages. Then, because his bed was a single bed, he took me to his friends house so we could sleep there. Things got a little hot... then he said to me "I don't listen to my penis. I can be on the same bed with a naked chick and do nothing at all" He said that cause I thought he wanted to have sex with me right there lol. I appreciated that a lot. We cuddled and slept.I saw him on Sunday at church. I told him we have to talk. We went to a park nearby and told him we should be friends. We had a nice time talking and chilling. March 2008After that, he would call me every day asking me how I am and stuff. So one day I suggested that we meet. I went to his house,and we were talking... he was telling me he does all the work in his relationship with his gf... he treats her like a queen but she doesn't really appreciate it. I gave him advice as a real friend would. The days passed,and I couldnt stop liking him.In April I went back home for a month and then went back to place A in May for one week. I had changed my number. He didn't have it. Within 2 hours he had found my number and called me. I asked who it was and he said "your worst nightmare... hey.... how are you doing? So you dont wanna let us know you're back".... I was smiling so hard. I told him I'd call him the next day. I met him,and he started talking about the past. It was around 12 pm when I said I had to go. I went downstairs and then decided to go back. He had left the door open. It was dark inside. I walked in and went close to him. I could feel his body in the dark. He leaned and kissed me. I responded. I felt as my head would explode ! Then I said "I have to go" and dissapeared in the dark. (ROFL....) I left once again and returned to my home country(place B). I would spend the whole summer at place B. I didnt know if I would go back to Place A for studies. My parents didnt want me to cause of my disease.June, July, August 2008 - We didn't contact each other. I went back to place B and I thought I'd get over him. I said to myself, I'll be in place B, I'll meet new guys and say bye bye to D. They say distance make love grow fonder well that appeared to be true. No matter who I met, I still couldn't get over D.September 2008I went back to place A to continue college. I realized I was very wrong, showing him I care and all that. I decided to be a little bitchy. In other words, I decided to be friendly with him and nothing more than that. We met at church and were friendly to each other. He asked me how my summer was etc. I didn't know if he still had feelings for me. Then I went to my pastors house to have lunch. He came too. After lunch we talked a bit and I realized he still likes me. Oh... and he still was with his girl. October 2008Me and him went to a prayer meeting with our pastor's wife who was giving us a ride. We started teasing each other like crazy in her car. Then on the way back, she left us at the same place. He asked me "so what are you doing now ?" I said " Its 9 pm. I have some time to kill till I go to the club." He said "Ok, let me walk to you to the traffic lights" Well instead of that, we started walking... and... he started talking about the past.... He said "If I could describe you in one word that would be unpredictable.." He added that what we had didn't start well... I said "nothing went right"... I was acting like I didn't care and that I had moved on. But he was stressing the subject. Then he said "that night you came to my house..... after we kissed... I felt so bad"..(May)...We had a very decent conversation,I love our all conversations...lol..I should mention here I had changed my number again and he had changed his so we couldn't call each other. At that point,I was going to the clubs hoping I could meet him. One night I was in the club and on my way to the ladies room I saw him. We greeted each other by kissing each other on the cheeks. Then I went back to my friends. He came near me after 10 mins and said "can I get a dance?" so we danced and man it felt so good! The chemistry between us was UNBELIEVABLE. At that time I still had hopes for me and him. But that changed when I started seeing his girlfriend with him at the clubs. (Previously she didnt use to come a lot cause she was in High school. This year though she made it to college so she comes.) I was dying whenever I was seeing them together so I said to myself " To hell with this, I will never have him so I better move on"... so no longer I would be going to the clubs hoping to meet him. I still would go sometimes,for my own entairtainment.October 2008-March 2009while i was still at place A I met another dude,fell in love with him, lost my virginity to him... etc but I decided I should go back to place B, my home country.April 2009 and some days before I left place A for good, D called me and asked to me to go to his house and pick him up....he came to my house and i was acting once i didnt really care he was there, i felt he wanted to kiss me badly, i just kept it friendly. 3 nights later i called him and we met near his house at night,i went into his car and we were jamming to music,and talking,all of a sudden he asked me "Dont you wanna kiss me?" I wanted to kiss him SO BAD... i said "why dont u kiss me?" so we started kissing, things got so hot, we still had feelings for each other after a year,but on my side it was lil cold, i mean a year had passed, and i had fallen in love with another guy... we were about to have sex, and i kept saying we shouldnt, then i realised we should do it and thats when he said no, he cant do that to me then meet his girl the next day. I left and thats the last time i saw him...We talked online a few weeks later, he asked me why i didnt say goodbye and asked me if i think its better we didnt have sex, cause it would complicate things, plus he couldn't afford getting hurt. A year and some months later...we're in June 2010 and I still think about him. I gave you the whole story cause I didnt want to ask a general question "Should i go back and see what can happen".Many can say he could of dumped his girlfriend,but really,who would,when the chick u met, doesnt even know if shes coming back? The thing is, I'm going to place A with my uncle in July. We booked our tickets today.He wants to get a job there... I'm also gonna go see my friends. The thing is.. When I see D, and I still have feelings for him, should I say something? I mean you only live once dont you? I dont want to get my feelings hurt if he decides to stay with his girl,but then again, I cant take him off my mind.Its probably cause I never really had him,so Ill never stop wondering what its like to be with him.Truth is I connected with him on a level I never connected with anyone else.And I've met a lot dudes and mainly good ones.How should I talk to him? Place A is an exotic location, and D works at this pizza place during summer. His boy who is also my good friend (were still in touch) also works there with him.Im thinking of arranging something, maybe a walk with him on the beach?Just the two of us? Any suggestions? Should I drop the bomb "I wanna be with you"? Should I stop being a chicken and just say it? Or my pride is more important? Thanks for reading this novelle.
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christmas, has a girlfriend, kissing, lost my virginity, move on, my penis, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Wow you could almost make this into a movie!
I would say if it doesn't harm your future any go back to place A and meet him again. The only thing I would suggest is don't have sex with him, wait for a relationship or else you could end up getting hurt.
This guy could have an awesome connection with you OR he could just be one of those charmers that every girl likes. I have a couple of friends who are like that and they can connect with any girl they want. So either things are too good to be true and they are true, OR everything is just a lie. He could be doing the same thing with other girls.
Regardless it can't hurt to live a little and risk it. You may spend your entire life wishing you had.
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