A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok, so I am studying abroad in Spain for a year, leaving my boyfriend of 2 years back home. I miss him terribly and still love him however... A mutual male friend of ours came over to visit me in Spain, and we ended up getting very drunk and sleeping together. Talking about it the next day, we obviously both felt like the worst people on earth for doing this to my boyfriend/ his friend. But at the same time, we discovered that at some point in the past we had each fancied the other, and that if circumstances were different, we could have made a go of it together. Now that he is gone back to Oz, I am so confused. I feel like I still love my boyfriend but I don't want to tell him, as I don't see the point in hurting him just to relieve my guilt. But on the other hand, I can't stop thinking about this other guy, and I think I might be in love with him too. In many ways I know he would be better for me. So my question is this: should I come clean with my boyfriend? And should I tell this other guy how I feel about him? Is it possible to love two people at the same time, adn if so how do you choose?!
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 Well, firstly, I am going to assume that you aren't 30-35.
I think a drunken one-night stand with a guy who reminds you of your boyfriend, And of home, - isn't love-at-first sight. It's probably something that I would chalk up to being a mistake. The real problem here is that he is a friend of your boyfriends, and because he ALSO makes mistakes when he is drunk, I would probably count on it slipping out in front of your boyfriend at some future point. I also would NOT complicate the hell out of things by professing your love for his friend right now!!! I think that the closeness was more about missing home than real "love". Under these circumstances, I would tell your boyfriend the truth and let the chips fall where they may. He may forgive you, or you may be free to date again, but dating his friend might get more than a bit messy and burn a lot of bridges behind both of you. Good Luck, Dear.
A
male
reader, PreferVirgins  +, writes (15 November 2008):
You see, you love two people, let all of them know the truth and the one who loves you will stay. This is kinda hard to accept , but trust me, altimately you'll be happy.What if you don't tell your bf and his friend chooses to be honest? One day both of them will be drunk and the cat will be let out! so decide now, sorry though!
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