A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there! Can you please give me some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and love him so much, but he doesn't do it for me in the bedroom, as he justs wants a quick 5 minutes and then he is done. Apart from that, everything else is perfect in the relationship. So I want to cheat on him with someone else to get my kicks. What do you think I should do?Frustrated Girl Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): i dont belive you would ask that you are a bad person if you dont want to be with him leave him.
A
male
reader, Dextro69 +, writes (16 October 2007):
 i've been with my fiance for nearly 4 years it took nearly 2.5 years before we had sex and had loads for 3 months but have had none for a year now but despite how much i need it i would NEVER cheat as i love her to much. So if as you say "everything else is perfect in the relationship" you would never cheat. try talking to him he may just have a problem with Premature ejaculation, there are many things you can do to prevent this one is just as he gets the feeling he is about to cum stop everything and press firmly (not to hard tho) between the anus and scrotem called the perineum (also called the "taint", "grundel" or "gooch") untill the feeling subsides then go again it takes a bit of practice but can help, he can practice him self as well, dont worry if he cums while doing this and nothing comes out it while just go to his bladder, also try talking to a doctor or sex therapist. also there are plenty of toys out there you could use to get there first before the main game takes place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): As an afterthought - after he's had his five minute quickie, whatever you do, don't be tempted to say something like "is that it?", then sigh and roll over. It'll set him back about six months.
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): my thing is - there is no way that you can love someone and then cheat on them - that is just craziness! you should just talk to him - unless you are wanting to ruin the relationship.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Why would you even consider cheating? He may have a problem in the bedroom but you have an integrity issue. IT will only make matters worse and complicate this scenario. Deal with the problem, don't make it bigger.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (16 October 2007):
I think you need to teach him what you would like to have him do. If he ejaculates quickly there are ways around that. One is to wait 15 minutes and then start again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): I think what you should do after he's had his quick 5 minutes, is to keep on hugging him and snuggling up to him in a sexy manner and if you're lucky, the chances are sooner or later he'll be ready to 'go again' and he'll last rather longer the second (and possibly third!) time round.
Best of luck
Phil
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I also agree with flower girl!! Talking to your boyfriend about how you feel is a very good idea. By keeping this to yourself, how is he to know what is bothering you? Guys need to know these things!! And don't cheat on him with another guy, that would really ruin your relationship forever!!!
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): NO!!! Unless you want to be a cheater! Just talk to him or break up with him. That is so unfair to him!
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I agree - you should talk to your boyfriend about it. If your boyfriend is as great as you say he is, then he should be understanding about your feelings. Maybe try suggesting erotic sexy activities as foreplay, which should make things last longer.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Amen, Flower Girl.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): if everything else is perfect in the relationship, then it should be obvious to tell him 5 minutes is not doing it for you, isn't communication perfect in the relationship? suggest multiple partners (have another guy come into the picture and let this dude watch, or do a threesome or something), taking a break (to get this guy some experience while you relieve yourself with other men, which you would want to cheat with), ultimately don't cheat, it's dishonest, you'll feel awful, it's wrong, it will hurt him, and you wont be able to tell anybody. Other than the break and another partner introduced, i would suggest upping the ante, get some books or sex toys. it really seems like a communication thing to me, mostly because you didn't at all get into what you guys talk about. I've been with my girfriend (now wife) for 4 years and we both know how to do 5 minutes or 5 hours, and when the other person wants either. Be honest, and use communication.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Tables turned, how would you feel? just a question as there are an awful lot of people that do not take the other halves feelings into consideration.
What you need to do is talk to your boyfriend about it, surely if he is great in every other way you do not want to risk losing him for someone that can last a bit longer in the bedroom.
Take care.xx.
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