A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I believe my boyfriend that nothing is going on or not? He has received calls and text messages from his exes and one asked if I was pregnant yet. When she found out I am on pills she stated smart move. I feel like I am losing him to them because when they call or text or ask to see him he does not want to disappoint them. I have feel pretty much shut out of his live the past month because of this. We have been living together since I lost our baby 8 months ago. I feel like he is depressed and not sure of anything right now
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): I will try the text option and see what happens. We both have gone through a lot of bad things that have happened the past 8 months but I still feel like he should be telling me about whats wrong and not texting some friend of his that is a girl. I think it is totally un called for.
A
female
reader, kaykay1989  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Sorry to hear you've lost a baby. I lost one to 2 years ago. I know its a very painful time in your life.
You need to talk to him about the way you feel and vice versa he maybe doesn't know how to talk about it with you and doesn't want to upset you and wants to be strong for you, However him talking to his ex's isn't the right move and is very inconciderate.
He should not be discussing your private matters with them. He should be supporting and discussing baby making with you. You need to tell him how upset this is making you feel and that disappointing them shouldn't be a problem because theres two of you in this relationship not four. Let him know he needs to get his priotities straight and tell him how shut out you feel from all this. xoxoxoxox
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): I agree that he should not be discussing your personal life with his exes or with anyone else without your permission. It's an invasion of privacy, especially about such a personal matter.
I would believe something is going on due to the fact that the ex said “smart move”. It suggests that maybe your bf expressed unhappiness in the relationship prior to the loss and that he does not really want a child. Or it could be that he feels you both are not ready for this after losing your child. Whatever it is, he needs to be discussing this with YOU, and spending time with you now not his exes, even if they just remain as friends.
You both need to help each other through the grieving process and focus on each other. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Actually you sound like the one with the depression and he sounds like he's living it up with other women and doing whatever he pleases, garnishing sympathy from other women like making it sound like he's trapped with you so he can get laid.
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A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (20 March 2011):
I am sorry to say he sounds to be a player!
hear it from me, his question is suspicious about if you are pregnant or not!
Why is he contacting his exes?? "in his brain, and i know men,
he might think i may use one of the exes to have sex or take advantage of her once he can becoz he knows they may still have some feelings for him".
i will tell you one thing just to test him, once his mobile ring or he receives a text message, try to just pretend that you are responding to his calls or reading his messages,for instance, once his mobile rings say i am on it, if he gets angry or behaves suspiciously,or shaken up, he is hiding something,
i am a man and i understand who we are.
Comeback to this thread if i helped, and tell me about the test.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 Your sexual life is none of their business. Why does he feel the need to talk to not one, but two exes? Ask him why he's talking with his exes and what he's deriving from it. You may have your own reasons for delaying the baby making decision. This is a sad period in your lives. What he should do is focus more on you, find strength within each other and not distract himself with what options he has, or had.
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