A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to deal with a situation I'm facing in regards to my little girls dad, and how best to approach this.I had my daughter when I was 16 and her dad was 17. We have always had a good relationship even when we broke up when our daughter was 2. We have always spent birthdays, Christmas etc together and our families have always got on. My ex is now in a relationship with a girl who is 5 years younger, making her 18. I haven't met her yet but I've recently been told by my daughter that she has been spending a lot of time at Grandma's house. My ex lives with his mother. When I asked my daughter she said that her dad's girlfriend had taken her to the park a few times, and she went camping with them when they went away last weekend. Its not that I asked my ex if his new girlfriend was going but he didn't let on that she was at all. He rang me 2-3 times over the weekend so I could talk to my daughter but neither said anything. My little girl isn't one for talking to strangers but when she got back she kept telling me about what they had all done and how this girl had taken her to the park when daddy had to work. I get that he needs to work, and I get that he has a right to let his girlfriend know his daughter, but surely I have a right to know it's going on? When I asked him about the camping trip he said that his girlfriend drove over for a few hours, but didn't stay.Its just we normally share everything and I've even asked to meet this girl, but he kept making excuses. Im not sure how to move on from this as I feel like my daughter's Dad isn't taking my views into account in regards to his girlfriend. Should I be more strict in regards to visitation? Or just let it go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2015): Dad is just as much a parent as you are and has the right to choose whom his children are around and taken care of by when they're in his custody. You don't have to approve or like it, and it's unreasonable that you want to meet the new gf. Dad thinks she's ok, so she's ok and doesn't need your stamp of approval.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 July 2015):
 whatever you do, do not go against any court ordered visitation. do not set it up to have to go to court and get this fixed.
Ask to meet her again. IN fact, why not invite them go out for a meal with your daughter...everyone on neutral territory.
I think you have a right to meet her but if your daughter is on her daddy time and daddy chooses to let gf watch her, that's on daddy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 July 2015):
 I would ask to met her again. Let him know that you HAVE a right to met the people who are LEFT to watch her. She is 18, you have NO idea how much experience she has with kids and as a mother you have EVERY right to know who takes care of her in your absence.
Same would go when YOU get a BF, your ex should have a chance to met him (preferably BEFORE your child does).
Make sure he understands that you are OK with him dating again and that you are NOT looking to JUDGE her, just met her.
Maybe arrange a day at a neutral area (playground/park) and met up.
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