A
male
age
30-35,
*heSunDanceKid
writes:Hey I got a problem that is threating to end my relationship. For some reason i keep getting mad at the fact that my girlfriend has sex in the past with other people. I have never felt this way twords someone and when i tell my friends my problem they just say its because I just care about her. its been going on for a couple months and at random times i get ferious cuz of that fact. I have told her that Im sorry and i cant help it but it keeps comming back. Can someone please give me advice to get over this feeling. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Welcome to real life.
Who told you that this wasn't supposed to bother you? The media? Your friends?
What you're feeing IS normal. You're just supposed to ignore it for the rest of your life because it causes problems for a culture that has embraced casual sex so completely.
A
male
reader, tesit64  +, writes (11 July 2009):
Im going to give you some direct "man talk" so please dont get offended by it or anything. It might come across as a little harsh..but you need it...trust me.TheSunDanceKid, man up. Its the 21st Century. Your not a little boy anymore...and women are not little girls anymore. Women have sex. Thats right...they f*** other guys...constantly. They love sex....probably even more then you. Its the 21centry. Women have sex! Accept it. They like sex, and they have sex...lots of it. Dont be a little boy about it and live up to the BS innocent women image of the 40s. Women are just human beings. So are men. We are just human being and we have sex. Its not a big deal. Thats as best i could explain it to you over text. But in short, grow up. PPl have sex...your parents have sex...everyone has sex. Not a big deal...accept it. Now...enjoy life :)
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A
male
reader, Rhandy  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 what you need to do is accept the fact that she is no longer virgin before u had meet. try to focus on her attitude, how she loves you and needed u. all this physical things wull be vanished but the love she showed to you remains forever.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (11 July 2009):
 Redirect your energy into acceptance. Your girlfriend is who she is, and the fact that she had relationships before you doesn't change that you both chose and like each other. Focus on the fact that she picked you.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): If it bothers you that your girlfriend is only 18 and no longer a virgin, then maybe she is not the girl for you...she may not share values that are important to you.
You are mad because you don't like the thought of another guy being on top of her....and doesn't mean that you care about her....it may be that you don't respect her and perhaps for a good reason. Only you can decide this.
Feelings are just that, feelings, they aren't facts and you don't have to get over your own values....you have to decide what is important to you in the selection of a girlfriend....if this matters to you, it matters to you.
You aren't wrong or right in feeling the way you do, but you are entitled to feel however you feel about it.
If you want "to get over it", the only thing to do is to forgive her for her past and "accept" her as she is.
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A
female
reader, ugh101 +, writes (11 July 2009):
 What happend before you you cannot change and frankly are none of your business. It is your business to no that she has had other partners. But you should not judge her on that.
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