A
female
age
51-59,
*AGirl
writes:I'm going to try and keep this brief. My current BF (LDR) exGF contacted him. She needs surgery to help control her seizures. She requested that in the event anything should happen to her, would my BF take her daughter (which is no relation to him). Her daughter is a (unfortunately) product of a terrible event. The ex knows I'm in the picture but she's 15 minutes from him (I'm a 2hr plane ride) and I'm admittedly jealous. She has used "dramatic" ordeals for his attention. After my BF told me, I reacted very calmly and since I work in the field of treating epilepsy, I had some advice. He told me that he feels more confident talking to me now...but I'm initially uneasy. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): My fiances childs mother is constantly attention seeking and making out that the little boy is always ill and that he must rush to the hospital immediately- all dramatic effect because when he gets there the child has either gone home or there is nothing wrong at all - always at around midnight too!! She lives 15 mins from him and I am a good hour away. I too feel jealous and insecure. You need to sit your b/f down and tell him how uncomfortable and insecure the situation makes you feel. Make sure you say that this makes you feel very insecure and use words such as unloved and unwanted and that it is causing you pain.
To be honest it makes no difference if she is 15 mins away or 5 hours - he doesn't want to be with her and it is her that is clinging onto the past. He is with you now and 2 hrs is nothing so really don't worry and fixate on this. It is ludicrous for her to even suggest he has her child as her family would be there if anything went wrong anyway. It is all attention seeking. You were very good to remain so calm and give professional advice - very admirable, you could teach me a thing or two! Don't worry about it, it will never happen and your b/f isn't interested.
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Hey GA girl,
Have you told your boyfriend what feelings you are having. Explain to him that while he is a dear for being so selfless, it makes you feel a tad bit insecure ....taking into consideration the 15 mins vs the 2 hour plane ride.
Communicate with him...nicely. no accusations nothing like that...just let him know that you need a little reassurance that you are most important to him right now. Trust is a heck of a thing to lose my chicka...if he can make you feel better...the 2 hour plane ride is nothing.
Hope things work out
ana
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