A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey. There is a guy i go to school with that i've been knowing for a bit but it has always been a hi and bye type of thing.He is 20 years old and im 18. Until a month and a half ago when my girl and i went to a club and i bumped into him there. We danced all night and he bought me drinks. I was really feeling him, and the things he was saying had me thinking damn this guy is a real dude, so i ended up sleeping over his dorm. He didnt make a move on me but i did and we ended up having sex. He met my son who is a year old, and he loves him. He is a sweet heart and enjoys playing with my son. I have slept over several times after that, and we chill at least three times a week, everything was going perfect. we would text each other back and forth everyday, he would call me babe, it was something nice. but two weeks ago he started acting a little bit distant.when i talked to him about it, he told me that it was because he thought i was getting to attached to him, and that he was looking for something but nothing serious as of right now cause he just gott out of a relationship like 4 months ago. he said that he still wanted to get to know me but to take things day by day, i told him that was okay. we text often and chill and sometimes we have sleepovers. but i just wish we could go back to the beginning. i really like him and want to keep on getting to know him. when we are together we have fun, im always making him laugh and we talk about our lives and things like that. im not in a rush to get into a relationship but i dont want to waste my time either. Should i just be friends wit him or just wait to see what happens? what can i do to make him become exclusive in a way?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Give him some more time and you will be able to know where you stand with him.
You need to back off a bit and let him do the chasing and wooing. You could be coming on too strongly for his likings.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 I don't think he wants exclusivity with you...so unfortunately there's not much you can do to get that. You've slept with him already, he doesn't want a relationship so basically he's got what he wanted.
He seems to want to keep sleeping with you and hanging out with you without committing to you, without any responsibility for your feelings. I woudn't accept that, and if you don't want to get hurt down the track, you shouldn't either.
He might be a great guy and he might not be in a place right now to start anything serious...but that doesn't mean that you should continue what you've been doing with him in hopes of him changing his mind. Once a guy, or even a girl, has slept with someone outside of a relationship, it usually doesn't go anywhere. It happens on the odd occassion but it's not the norm. What happens is that these people are happy to keep you around until something they really want comes along.
If I was you I'd stop the hanging out and sleeping together but remain civil and friendly with him. If he wants the sleepovers and the company then he should make you his girlfriend.
I'm sure you really like him but I bet you there are many guys out there who you will like as well and who will want to committ to you.
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