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Should I be angry or have mercy? My dad cheated on my mom.

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2008)
A female Philippines age 26-29, *onfused... writes:

hey i dont know whats right anymore! ok so my father cheated on my mom... and then he is still living in our home but he is being insulted by my other relatives and others are saying he is a shame to our family...a part of me feels sorry for him i dont know i should have mercy or be angry?

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A female reader, graciie; United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2008):

do you what you feel,

you shouldnt feel certain tings becuase thats the way others act in the situation

its about what you feel ya'know?

it's a hard time for you,

it;s okay to act out on your emotions

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2008):

lexilou agony auntIts very hard to know why he did this and sometimes there are reasons for this to happen that you may be to young for your parents to discuss with you. At the end of the day he is still your dad and still loves you. If he is living at home and is trying to work it out with your mum then at least he is making an effort. Im not trying to make excuses for him in any way but this is about your mum and dad and I would think your dad is very sorry that you know about this. They both need your support if you can give it right now especially if he is getting resentment from other family members. Although it might not feel like it at the moment your dad did not intend to hurt you, he just wasnt thinking of the bigger picture and what an affair would mean to the whole family. I doubt he thought he would caught. So ignore the other relatives at present and concentrate on your immediate family, try not to take sides but just be there for both of your parents x

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A female reader, bluntasaspoon United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2008):

bluntasaspoon agony auntok u seem furious at the moment and have just blurted out whats annoying u. a few questions that would help us give u good advice are

when did this happen, does ur mum know, do u know who it was with and are your parents still talking to eachother or completly ignoring each other and arguing

as soon as we know that then we can give u some straight forward advice ok hun

luv bluntasaspoon x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008):

hi, i've been in exactly the same position. when i was 7 years old my mum cheated on my dad, and since then the family have all hated her and tried to turn me against her.

i remember feeling really confused, as you are, at that time.

its ok for you to feel both sorry for him and angry towards him at the same time, its just confusing at the moment, but as time progresses your feelings will become clearer.

dont let what the rest of your family think turn you against your father - whilst what he did was wrong, you have to think that he must have had his reasons for cheating on your mum. at the end of the day, he's not going to cheat on somebody that he is happy with.

so try and see it from lots of different viewpoints.

there is no right or wrong way about how you should be feeling towards your dad at the moment, so just try not to dwell on it too much and, like i said, time will tell.

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008):

my friend tried to kill his mom when she cheated on his dad. id be pissed. no mercy there. i wouldn't honestly talk to either of my parents if they ever cheated.

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