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Should a blow the whistle on an affair?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *uartzKitty writes:

I've known for a couple of months now that on of my friends is cheating on her husband, and that he is none the wiser about her adultery. Both of them are great people, and I know that neither one is truly satisfied with their marriage the way they should be and that they've been having a rough patch lately. It's rather depressing as over the past couple of years I've seen three other marriages end because of adultery, and I'm not anxious to see another one, much less be the one who causes one, even indirectly. I've mulled over this issue for a while, and I don't know what to do? Should I tell him, or mind my own business?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010):

Yes, I know all about this. Years ago this guy who was friends with Me & my Brother (he didnt know we were brothers) Pointed out a girl at the mall and started telling me that he was "Doing" her. This girl was my brothers girlfriend. I went home and told my brother about it. He (my brother) confronted her, She then turned the tables on me with her lies. So it ended up the I was a liar and just causing trouble, As a result we ended up fighting. My brother pulled a Carving knife on me and i ended up in hospital for a week with serious Stab wounds. She has moved on, and me & my brother are only now starting to talk again after Not speaking for 10 years. Yet i still feel bad about it all, Ive got scars that im going to wear for the rest of my life. So the Morale here is Tread Carefully..!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010):

If you were him would you want to know? I would want to know. I would let him know without letting him it was me telling him. He has a right to know what is going on in his marriage.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 June 2010):

Honeypie agony auntIf it is YOUR friend who is cheating maybe you could talk to her. Personally if I had a friend and knew she was cheating I would tell her to stop and think. That she needs to come clean with her hubby. Having an affair is NO way to fix a marriage, quite the opposite.

IF my husband was cheating and HIS best friend knew.. I would want him to tell me. It would hurt like heck, but I think I have the right to know.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2010):

Best to stay out of it. You may not know all the facts in in their marriage. I have to agree with Oldersister. The people you seem to be hanging around aren't all that great and are depressing you. You need new friends who are more trustworthy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010):

perhaps tell the person cheating that either they need to come clean about it, or you will. Give them a time limit. I'd rather be given the option first. Who knows, mayb they'll work thru it. Good luck

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