A
male
age
36-40,
*oland1985
writes:hi ... so ive met this girl on the internet about 3 months ago, we have met up about 5 times as she lives 2hours drive away. weve had sex which was amazing and like each others company very much. but theres one problem.... shes going away to live in Thailand with her sister for 3 months !! when she comes back shes moving a lot closer to where i live. what do i do? ive just met the most amazing woman and shes leaving in 1 month for 3months. she said that when she gets back she wants to get a little more serious with me and have a relationship with me, wich is great and what i want but what if she goes out there and has sex with men? as she said shes not going to go out there with the intention to have sex with men but if it happens then it happens, thouse were her words! why are good things allways hard! do i wait for her and try and block thoughts of her haveing sex with other men out my head and start fresh when she gets back or call it a day? ;) ps. i honestly think i could wait but would it be worth it? please help ;)Roland....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): I would not wait. I would take the same approach that she is. You are not planning on finding someone else but if it happens it happens.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 On the plus side, it is quite tough for western girls to get laid in Thailand. There is a hell of a lot of competition.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 She is saying that you aren't exclusive yet and that she will be gone for only three months. The three month separation is a fact that can't be changed. She's not willing to tell you that she is your girlfriend quite yet; but that seems logical if you have only known each other for 3 months and have only met 5 times.
You really can't expect her to go for a total commitment quite yet OR be totally exclusive at this point; you are going to be in a non-exclusive LDR for a while.
Why would you be picturing her having sex with other men? Do you think so little of her that she has round heels and will immediately be sleeping with the first man she meets? If that's what you think of her character; then why have you chosen her? Shouldn't you be more concerned about your lack of faith; or your misjudging others character or the fact that if all the things that you are thinking about her; you have overridden your own good judgement and chosen poorly? I think that you are over-thinking things here... I'm afraid that you are expecting a bit much. The trip is a fact. It's only 3 months! You are old enough to wait for a good thing. "
If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. - Anonymous
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A
female
reader, loveistheanswer  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 "If it happens it happens" means that she is not feeling committed to you in the same way you feel for her. Don't set your heart on her, go out there and have fun yourself. You're still plenty young and have your whole life ahead of you. Those words of hers should be enough clue as to what you should do.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2010):
 hi Roland, one in every 100 people, out of a population of 65 million people in Thailand has AIDS. Sobering statistics. If you do wait, and if 'it happens' as you quote from her words, then i would suggest an AIDS test for you both, before you resume sexual relations on her return. Her remark might have been in jest, but if not in jest, then it does not sound like the words of a woman seriously committed to you. Try not to get hurt. Three months is a long time, and it only takes one partner with AIDS to shorten hers or your life.
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