A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I don't really know where to start with this one. I've been in a relationship with a woman now for the past seven years ( I am also female). At the start of the relationship we just ignored the fact that it was a secret and noone knew about it. Eventually after three years she told me she really loved me but we could never tell anyone this secret so we decided to split up and remain friends. However this never really happened and things carried on except sometimes she would be really nasty towards me. Fed up with the coldness and the inability to commit to me I moved to Canada for a year to work. Despite my attempts to cool off the realtionship by moving continents she got back in touch and we spoke nearly everyday on the phone and she came to visit me three times in the year. At this point she told her sister about us and we also told a few friends.When I returned to UK I moved in with her and things were good for a brief period then last October she ended the relationship, this didn't last long though and we were soon back together, she then ended the relationship again in march this year. I was an absolute mess and began to pick up the pieces and by July was feeling a lot better. I had arranged a months trip to Cananda to meet up with some friends. However she then decided that she wanted us to get back together, I stupidly agreed and things were bliss for a few weeks until she suddenly hit me with it again the last week that it was over and this time for good. I'm so confused she was always so in love with me and now she says she's not sure if she is or not. Sometimes she says she thinks she is and other times she thinks she's not. I have treid to pin point the reason for the relationship ending mainly due to the fact that she can't tell people. She says that is part of it but not all, when I ask her what else she says she wasn't happy because she felt like she was living a lie and that it probably would have been okay if it wasn't a secret. I've asked her to tell her parents about us but she said she can't because it's been a lie for so long and that she doesn't love me enough to tell them. I believe that she is still in love with me due to the simple fact that whenever I try to move on she always reels me back in. Surely if she wasn't in love with me she would leave me be.I'm trying my best to remain friends with her and I've even been sleeping at her house still even though I've moved out. I have explained to her though that if it's over then maybe things need to change. It's like we'er still in a relationship without the physical side. Can people please give me their opinions.She even said to me if she comes back to me again wanting to get back together i need to be strong and tell her to get lost. Again I'm confused why would she say this if she wasn't in love? Do you think she loves me and can't tell her family about our relationship or do you think maybe she has just fallen out of love with me? I'm absolutely heart broken without her. I feel like my world has ended.I can't stop crying, I'm just a mess.
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