A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm not sure how to start this because there's way too much background maybe.But anyways, after talking to her for a month I dated a girl for about two weeks. After those two weeks a fight over a night we were both feeling terrible on made us realize that our humongous differences were too much and we decided to break up to protect both of us.And yeah, that was all well and good, but then she contacted me the night we broke up and was saying she had regrets and since we had (stupidly) broken up over the internet we decided to meet in person to try to give it more closure, so we did that the next day and reached the same conclusion fairly quickly and then that night she contacted me again saying she had even more regrets and we talked more and we both really were.So we decided to talk as in depth as possible, in person, tonight, and did. Again reached the same conclusion to break up because it was for the best for both of us, but it was much harder this time. And just recently (a little over an hour since the conversation) she called me saying she feels we made a huge mistake but she still doesn't know.I don't know either. I keep thinking I so want to get back together with her. I mean, we only dated for two weeks but both of us are feeling closer to each other than we have really to anyone in our past (neither of us exactly have an extensive dating history, mind you).The thing holding us back is that she enjoys going to parties and getting drunk and making out with random guys and stuff like that, and while currently due to an enlarged liver problem she hasn't been able to go to parties in a while, she's really worried that she'll slip or something and really hurt me in the future. She's also really hyper and active and stuff, and I'm basically the opposite in so many ways. I'm worried about boring her and she's worried about overwhelming me.Except, we both like each other a ton and have our similarities and the two weeks were amazing while they lasted.So, in conclusion (I guess), I feel like we're in a terrible catch 22 here - either we break up and miss each other a ton and eventually move on or we give it another shot and who knows what'll happen but we both think our differences could easily spell doom for the relationship - and so I came here asking if anyone has any ideas or advice for how to approach this?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 It's a Catch 22, really. If you don't give it a try, you will always wonder whether it could have worked. If you do, and you fail, you will know, but you might end up hurting each other.
I was in a similar situation and the girl decided she wouldn't take that chance. To this day, we have a good time when we meet. I will always wonder what would have happened, but, we're very happy to see each other.
What do you two feel you should do? I'm afraid no one can really answer for you two here.
Think very hard if you could get used to her lifestyle, and let her think very hard, too, if she could get used to you. At first (and maybe wrong) sight, two very different people can't really work together. But, I have seen cases that disprove the rule.
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