A
male
age
30-35,
*evin12345
writes:To anyoneMy ex and I broke up after two and a half years almost a year ago. It was somewhat mutual. I went away for the summer to work in another country and while we said we were on a break we talked everyday and acted like everything was normal. She got with a few people while I was away which we agreed was okay. I didn't get with anyone. After a month of being back she broke it off with me saying she had gotten used to being single after the 3 months of me being away. I accepted this and got on with life. We said we would remain friends but after a few failed conversations she said she wasn't ready for us to start talking like friends. So I left it. Fast forward 7 months or so and after meeting her on the street a month before I realise i miss her so much . We were each others first serious relationship and she basically saved my life by pulling me out of a deep depression. I would do anything to get her back. Only problem is she is seeing someone else now. Ive never been self confident and never got with a lot of people. She was amazing and beautiful and was the kind of girl I always dreamed about being with and it kills me that I let it go. I was thinking of writing her a letter or something and trying to win her back. This might be a selfish thing to do though and maybe I should just let it go. Or maybe I should just risk it all and go for it. I'm very confused. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.Thanks Kevin
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 May 2015):
 She's with someone else, so the way to win her back is NOT by trying to sabotage her current relationship. That will only push her away. You need to wait until she's single again. And then you need to show her that you wont leave her again, apparently you guys don't work well in a long distance relationship and she just feels like she's single (or why did you even break up in the first place?). You need to have done some changes in your life, otherwise there is no point in getting back with her as you will only repeat the cycle.
PS. You'll get over her in time, there ARE loads of gorgeous and kind women out there. You're just blind to them because you're focusing so hard on your ex. I recommend that you try to move on, rather than get her back. Relationships with exes rarely go well.
A
male
reader, Alwayswondering  +, writes (16 May 2015):
Hi Kevin,
It is not selfish to want to be happy. However, you need to get over her. Yes, she has helped you with your depression, but she has moved on, and has made that clear by seeing another person. Speaking from experience, if you can't remain friends without wanting her as a girlfriend, break all contact. Perhaps not because you want to, but because you have to. You also may want to find activities, hobbies, or other interests that make YOU happy. By doing so, you will increase your opportunities to meet new friends, new girls, and form new relationships tenfold.
-AW
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