A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The story goes like this. There's this girl I really like, or love at the present. We knew each other 1 year ago. At that time, she just broke up with her boyfriend but then they patched up. At that time, I felt I was so close to have her and became desperate, so I confessed to her. She only could appreciate it. We tried to be friends but how we could become friends if we couldn't even look at each other eyes. And her boyfriend got jealous if we talk so it made things harder. I decided it's better if we're not friend.Then she broke up with him after 1 year, she came back to me like a dream. But it's not long and now she has another boyfriend who live in different state. We talked to each others for a long time. I confessed the 2nd time and she said she never has any "special feeling" with me like the other 2 guys, and said it won't never happen when I asked her a chance for both of us. And to not hurt the other guy as well as I'm able to forget her, she decided to cut all the contact with me.On that day we talked, so far I only could ask her for more time, so I can think about my feeling as well as what I mean to her. But I'm so depressed right now that a stranger who live away from us thousand miles could get her for less than 1 month after she broke up but me..It's not really a question, but i just need some places to release this stress. I still love her and still believe. But going back to the same feeling of depression as before is really difficult for me right now, especially she's the one proposed to cut our friendship, instead of me..
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female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Hello,
You are firmly in the friend zone and you always will be. Not her fault, not yours, just the chemistry and all that stuff! You never will be her bf because of this. The best thing to do is to move on and distance yourself from her and look for other girls. It sucks being her friend because you will always know she has a bf and you know this hurts you. Thats why its best not to be her friend. Unfortunately you must move on and let her go. Hannah
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): Unrequited love is one of the worst feelings that can be endured. I'm still going through mine as well. One thing you really need to make yourself see is that it will never happen, do not hold on to any hope that something could happen between you both.
It's gonna hurt for a while. However what you're doing at the moment by venting is a good step forward. Get it all out now so you can start moving on. Respect her space and do not contact her again. If someone says no to a relationship to you, never try to pursue it. It will only drive them away and make you feel worse.
Once you released and vented everything how you feel, you then have to occupy your time as much as you can in a constructive manner. Show to yourself that you can do just fine without her in your life. When you feel the time is right, start dating; find someone who loves you.
It'll take time my friend but you'll get through it.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): Yeah this kind of unrequited love really sucks man.
But you need to make your 'no contact' permanent. Stay away from her forever so you can move on. You know nothing will ever happen and don't let belief keep you tied to her because you're just missing out on life waiting for her and in the mean time all these other girls are just passing you by. Good girls that would make great partners are walking past you everyday and you're missing out on being with them because you're still hung up on this one girl.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 April 2011):
Sorry to hear that dude, but you can't force her to like you. If there is nothing there for her in regards to a relationship between you two then you need to respect that and acknowledge that things aren't going to happen.
I know its not what you want to hear but its the truth, sounds to me like you're chasing a lost cause and risking even ruining a friendship with this girl too. No matter how hard it is going to be for you, you have to move on :(
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