A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Im 21 and met this girl things were going fab. We had sex and i thought i fell in love. Then she tells me she is pregnant and im the father and also she is 15!!!!! She told me that she was 18 i still had a problem when she said 18 but i dealt with it. What am i going to do? She is 3 months gone and im so scared!! Could i go to prison i had no idea how old she was. And now she is carrying my child i cant look at her let alone touch her. Im so angry tht this could happen!!! any advice plz plz
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 In England and Wales the same laws apply to heterosexual and
homosexual activity and offences can be committed by anyone,
male or female, over the age of 10, which is the age of criminal responsibility.
It is an offence to intentionally engage in sexual touching
with a young person aged 13, 14 or 15. ‘Touching’ covers
all physical contact, including touching with any part of
the body, with anything else and through anything, for
example, through clothing. It includes penetration.
A person aged 18 or over is liable to up to 14 years
imprisonment for this offence. A person under the age of
18 is liable to up to 5 years imprisonment. A person may
claim in their defence that they believed the young person to be over 16.
Intentional sexual touching of a young person under 13 is an
absolute offence. This means there can be no defence in
such a case that it was believed the person was over 16.
Sexual touching which involves penetration of the vagina,
anus or mouth by the penis or penetration of the vagina or
anus with a part of the body or any object is punishable by
up to life imprisonment. Sexual touching not involving
penetration is punishable by up to 14 years imprisonment.
Fromhttp://www.brook.org.uk/content/M5_1_consent.asp
You need to settle this case with her.
Talk to her and see what she wants.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):
As the other answers demonstrate, this is how the real world works. Liability for sex only falls to one gender.
It doesn't matter that she didn't insist on using a condom either. It doesn't matter that she lied about her age. And it probably wouldn't have even mattered if she had lied about being on the pill.
You still get all the blame because you're the older male and she's the younger female.
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A
female
reader, Leanna +, writes (28 April 2008):
 You weren't worried about her age enough to keep it in your pants were you?
You brought this on yourself when you decided not to use contraception, and now there's an innocent baby caught up in it's parents immaturity. Maybe next time you'll bother to put a condom on before you jump into bed with the next random. Hopefully you've learnt a lesson from this. You reap what you sew my friend.
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A
male
reader, WizardOfWaz + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
 I will try to play Devil’s Advocate here as I think you might benefit more from a little critical advice rather than any further blind condemnation.
For the Defence-Under English Law a man can be charged with sexual assault and even rape for having sex with an underage girl. This normally results in a long prison term and being placed on the sex offenders registar for several years after his release from prison. However if the female is over the age of 12 and the male is under 24 a legal defence is allowed providing there is reasonable doubt as to whether the male could ascertain the girls age. Therefore in your case of a 15 year old being just slightly under the legal age of consent (16) and yourself a few years under the “older male” limit it is unlikely this would be treated as a serious offence.
On moral grounds there is no excuse in the UK for most 15 year old girls to be unaware of the consequences of unprotected sex , as they will have had quite a few years of unprecedented access to free information and advice at school, internet, teen “soaps” and even their teen mags are constantly emphasising that the girls themselves have the primary responsibility to protect themselves from both pregnancy and diseases.
For the Prosecution-You can still be charged with the lesser offence of “unlawful sex” although prosecutions are not pursued quite so vigorously as the more serious offences under sexual assault. You wont help matters by blaming the girl too much, or playing the innocent paragon who “still had a problem when she said 18”, yeah sure tell that one to the judge and you’d better get used to prison food for a while.
Although females have the primary responsibility to prevent pregnancy there is absolutely no escape for you if she does become pregnant with your child. You have moral and financial obligations to fulfil and the law will ensure that you do. So best get used to it sooner rather than later.
Verdict-If you get hauled up for unlawful sex, stick to the truth, “You thought she was over 16.”. Nothing else is required but the complete truth.. Trust the Plod to judge for themselves and it might not go any further. Tacking on too many excuses or blame-shifting will just make them suspicious of you.
Check out if the girl is indeed pregnant and that the child is yours. But it is technically yours until you can prove otherwise, and you should act accordingly. Make your peace with the girl to ensure that the child has the best start in life, even if that means you have no further relationship with her, it is not the unborn kids fault that it was brought into the world as a result of two alleged “adults” making a silly error.
Who knows, the challenge of being parents might ultimately make real adults out of the pair of you.
Regards
Waz
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Well you was stupid enough to sleep with her without using something called...... Whats that name???? Oh yes contraception. If you had your doubts about her why didn't you keep it in your pants?
There is an old saying........ Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
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A
female
reader, crownedprincess + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
Hiya!
im sorry to hear about you situation but you really do need
to be careful! you shouldn't put your 110% trust into
everyone as it back fires like this has!
You wont go to prison as it sounds as if she gave you her
consent but you really do need to be very careful!
I know she maybe a really nice girl but i'd demand a DNA
test once the child is born because if she can lie about
her age she could be lyin about the child being yours!
love is a very tricky thing i can tell you that now and if
your scared about possibly becoming a father then you
really should be using protection!
i can understand where your coming from a member of my
hubby's family did the same as what she's done to you and
its very hard!! so send my a message if you need to talk
anymore!
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Yes you very well can go to jail for this. She is a child. You should just hope that nobody calls the authorities on you. Did you honestly not know her age?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Once the baby is born you'll need to have a paternity test done to verify whether it's your baby, it can be done in vitro but that's pretty pricey. Get that done before you get legally involved with child support. Is there a chance you are not the father? Before anyone can press charges over this they will demand a paternity test anyway. You were stupid not to have used birth control but I guess you've figured that out by now. You don't have to "do" anything at this point, she is just as much to blame as you are, she lied about her age and spread her legs. If it is yours, all you can hope for is that the authrities will believe that she lied about her age. It's your word against hers.
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A
female
reader, maid_Marian_vetbabe + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
 Ok, first of all, this isnt ALL her fault... were you wearing a condom? If not its jsut as much your fault as hers.
Secondly you need to have a proper adult conversation with her, about why she lied to you about her age, and about what she is going to do with the baby.
Have you seen a pregnancy test? Do you have proof that she is actually pregnant? Because at 15 a girl's menstrual cycle is often very irregular.
About prison... I really dont know if you genuinely didnt know her age and could prove it, as in she has fake ID ar something like that, but you do need to be more careful.
Perhaps if you were really falling in love with her, things arent as bad as they seem right now.
Calm down, sleep on it, and talk to her, ok?
:-DHope this helps!!
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A
female
reader, maid_Marian_vetbabe + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
Ok, first of all, this isnt ALL her fault... were you wearing a condom? If not its jsut as much your fault as hers.
Secondly you need to have a proper adult conversation with her, about why she lied to you about her age, and about what she is going to do with the baby.
Have you seen a pregnancy test? Do you have proof that she is actually pregnant? Because at 15 a girl's menstrual cycle is often very irregular.
About prison... I really dont know if you genuinely didnt know her age and could prove it, as in she has fake ID ar something like that, but you do need to be more careful.
Perhaps if you were really falling in love with her, things arent as bad as they seem right now.
Calm down, sleep on it, and talk to her, ok?
:-DHope this helps!!
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