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She flies off the handle - what can I do?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i am involved with a divorced woman from the usa ... and we have agreed to get married, though we only converse via msn and telephone. for some reason, she tells me that we must wait 9 months before we can actually meet in person. moreover, there is a relationship from her past that she is consistently vague about. when she has asked me questions about my past relationships i have openly told her all. now she is going on a trip to his town, to sell her mobile home to him. this trip takes place when both she and i are on holiday, but she has made it quite clear she doesn't want me to accompany her.

this in itself is bad enough, but i have discovered that she operates a facebook page that she told me had been closed, and that furthermore she has blocked me from seeing the contents of her page. she will continually tell me that she has sent this, that and the other by post, but nothing ever arrives.

i would think that she is just stringing me along, if it weren't for the incredible amount of hours that she devotes to contacting me. when i raise any of these issues, she flies off the handle, and says i can't handle the relationship. what am i to do?

View related questions: divorce, facebook, her past, msn, on holiday

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007):

Hello,

I'm sorry that you are going through this stress and it must be affecting your everyday life.

Think of yourself!!!!!!!!!!

Think of YOU. What do you want? What is it that YOU need?

This seems as if it is hurting you and your life. Step back, be unavailable for a while.........

But make sure that you are happy.

This sounds selfish, but at this stage you need to consider your own life.

best wishes, W.

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (13 October 2007):

End this. End it now. She's getting on your case and you haven't even physically met. Even if she does have you in her future plans, she seems messed up already and you're supposed to keep your life on hold for nine months while she does God knows what.

Forget about this one. I'm sure you could find a relationship much more satisfying that is cleser to home.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

Gosh it's so hard, to really give advice on a relationship based on online love and fanatsy. This is what I despise about the internet. It allows predatory, self-involved people to prey on nice folks like you. If you have even an inkling that this lady is 'stringing you along', then you are probably dead on. In relationships, it is important to watch what people do as well as listen to what they say. If there is a difference between what they do and what they say, I always bet the truth rests in what they do. Talk is cheap.

I would suggest you find out the concrete truth in regards to who she really, really is, before even continuing with this online relationship. If you don't bother trying to seek the truth, I would have to say..you need to stop being weakened, controlled and manipulated by her. So I have to ask. Don't allow some woman, you have never met in the 'real' world...knock the self-respect and dignity out of you?? This is the problem about online fantasy relationships. We allow them to fill an emotional 'gap' in our lives, when we should be filling that gap up ourselves with real life stuff such loving family, friends, activities, and gf's, whom we get to know, face to face. My suggestion: She sounds shady. Stop talking to this woman and get out from behind that computer..get out and meet 'real' single women. Find one who will treat you with decency and respect. She's out there, you just have to get out there and look .Good luck and take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

My guess is that she's married, ugly, weighs about 300lbs and has syphylis.

Forget about her, she's just stringing you along.

Phil

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (13 October 2007):

You are being lied to and manipulated. Demand to be respected or move on.

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