A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been friends with this girl for 5 months who has a boyfriend. She moved from the east coast out here in the West to be with him for his new job.She doesn't want to be with him, but doesn't know how to end it because they live together. He is her first boyfriend. She is very shy, very innocent, and a good heart. He is very controlling and is busy working at a hedge fund and doesnt spend time at home wih her. Tells her what to eat and how she should dress. She told him that she doesnt feel the same way about him anymore and he begged her that he's changed.Our friendship morphed into a relationship and we realized that we are great for each other because we love each other's imperfections. Even though I wanted to, I never forced her to break up because that needed to be her decision. She also told me that she loves me so much. A month ago, I told her I couldn't keep seeing her for only 1hr every week because I wanted to be with her all the time. She cried and said her heart wants to be with me but she doesnt know why she cant leave this guy. Since that day she hasn't responded to any of my friendly calls to see how she is doing. I also emailed her a letter stating that I didn't think I would lose her as a friend .The question is.. why is she avoiding and did I do something wrong to a potential love of my life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand and great advice. It sucks because we were such good friends and loved hanging out with each other. I didn't think I would lose her as a friend due to her naivete
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 Does her boyfriend know about you? If she told him about you then maybe he told her never to speak to you again or they are finished and she's listening to him. But if he doesn't know about you I guess she has stopped communication with you on her own. She sounds like she is a very weak person and has taken the easy way out. You will have accept her silence as your closure. You'll be fine, Buddy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe main thing that upsets me is that there was no closure. The only painful thing is that there was no closure with someone that I considered a great friend. Not once has a call or email (total of 3) been returned. I believe everyone in life needs closure to learn and successfully move along.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 November 2008):
I think she knows where to find you if she wants to. Just sit back and let her sort this out. It really doesn't seem like she knows what she wants at this point. I think you need to give her some space and time. Wait for her to contact you.
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