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male
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anonymous
writes: I am in a relationship where both of us are recently divorced. The relationship has been long distance for them most part I has been on active duty in a different state than her. Every thing was going fine until about two months ago. She has a very busy with work and school on the weekends. So I we where having trouble trying to have quality time together on the phone. Then it got to the point where she was distcted when we talked or wouldn't call sometimes when she said she would. Then about a month ago she said she need space to heal and reorganize life. After some space she tell me that she want to communicate and that she misses talking to me and that loves me. Becasue she is so busy we have to scedule times to talk and then she doesn't call me. When I ask her why she didn't call she get upset. We had been e-mail more consistantly until this week she has not responded to many of my e-mail. Before all this happened I was going to move in with her when I got off of active duty. I still love her but her actions are hurting very bad. I need advice on what I should say and do. I am not sure how much more I can take but I don't want to make a mistake and walk away from someone that I care for so much.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 May 2006):
 If you dont want to walk away then take the middle road. Stop emailing and calling her and even asking too. If you think about it before when you gave her space she came back to you and the odds are that if you do the same you will get the same result. Obviously she has alot going on right now and it seems like she wants to have time talking to you but is feeling pressured to fit it in.
Give her some time with no contact and if say a week or two passes and nothing happens get in touch to see how she is. You dont have to walk away, there are other options here. Hope that helps and good luck.
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reader, NG +, writes (11 May 2006):
What I would do is to send her another email telling her how i feel about this situation (don't put too much pressure on her), tell her your plans and ask her if she like them and if she really wants to keep planning ahead things with you. If she doesn't reply...I wouldn't send another email again.
It could be that she's very busy...but I can never be too busy to reply to someone I really miss.
Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2006): She could simply be leading a busy or hectic life and thats why she gets upset when you question her as to why she hasnt phoned.She has recently divorced so basically life is starting over for her again.She could be testing your staying power to see how truelly commited you are towards the relationship considering it is long distance,also i can look at things from your side of the fence i can see you are hurting and it shows you care a lot for her so if you can stay with it for a while longer do so and see what happens and if things dont change tell her how you feel and discuss to her how she can see how things are going within the relationship.
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