A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well briefly, we've been in a relationship for 10 months, we met online, we were moving pretty quickly, she always said i was her everything, she loved me madly, she had nightmares about me leaving her for someone better...Recently i started being a jerk, dont ask me why, i swear i dont know....maybe i thought she will always be there...meetings became shorter, every other weekend, i'll drive there late, sleep together and leave in the early morning, i was always mad and angry at her,the last problem we had was we were supposed to go out with her friends to pubs and stuff, then i had a family thing on the same day, so i went to her the night before, and left early morning to my family's thing...she went out and told me she had a blast, i got pissed because she didn't text me for the whole 12 hours she was out...i called her the next day saying she should've offered me to come with me to the family thing instead, she told me i dont wanna do this anymore...i dont wanna be in this relationship!She always said i'm manipulative and controlling, mainly because of the always mad and angry thing!She dumped me 2 weeks ago, i begged and pleaded, then i pulled myself together...we had a meeting 3 days ago, she called it a closure meeting...i admitted all my mistakes, told her i never used her for sex, and that i was being an arsehole for not being there for her, and that i'm getting the old happy me back. then i told her she probably will never hear from me again, unless she contacts me...i told her i'll delete fb and disappear... I did 3 days ago and havent heard anything from her...i miss her so bad and i dont wanna lose the love of my life because i made a mistake that i'm honestly willing to fix!I'm on day 3 NC, and i wont hold for long, i know that...i'm usually stronger than that, but i had everything planned around her, i wanted to live with her and grow old with her
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female
reader, Thornbirds  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I think you've got some personal issues that need serious fixing. Otherwise,these personal unresolved issues will jeopardize not only this present relationship you have with your gf, but some other relationships you may have in the future if you will not do something about it.I feel sorry for your gf, too, because she has too much love and patience to put up with your temperament and controlling behavior, until she got had enough of it. I guess you are on the right track in rectifying with your gf when you acknowledge your shortcomings and admit your mistakes. Would you like your gf to take you back out of pity? Even if you're successful in wooing her back, it's your actions that she will use as basis of her next decision. Whether to take you back again if this happens, or not, remains to be seen according to the degree of change she'll see and observe in you. Don't beg and plead for you to be taken back. It is a cheap means of bargaining. Make a deal with her, and promise to change for the better. Don't make empty promises for changes you cannot do.Prove it by action. Show her. Make the deal real, and make compromises.In that way, you'll be in a better position to your claim of making your plans for a bright future with her.. Goodluck!
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