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*hornbirds agony aunt

*hornbirds

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I have to beg for sex. Am I being selfish for feeling hurt and sexually frustrated by his waning sexual desire?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. He has been very stressed out with work and our finances. We are business partners so we are constantly together. We have an amazing relationship but unfortunately, our sex life has gone do...

A.   11 May 2011: You are perfectly normal in terms of your sexual needs. Why do you point the mistake on yourself? Don't you ever consider it is your BF who has the problem? Sooner or later his sexual dryness will cause you more stress until you cannot take it ... (read in full...)

Should I stick by my GF despite her attitude or should I not bother and go with a relationship that I feel could work?

Q.   Dear Cupid, First off let me set up the situation for you. I have been with my girlfriend now for over 4 years. It has been a rather rocky relationship. a few years back i broke up with her because i felt it wasn't what i wanted. I didnt do anyth...

A.   30 April 2011:  Trust your gut feel. All the things you have observed and proven to be true were all valid to make you feel uncomfortable.You feel uneasy about the relationship. If you feel so, it is because there's something wrong with what's happening around ... (read in full...)

I want to be happy since our breakup but I'm not sure how to be!

Q.   My ex broke up with me on mid Dec. It has been truly hard for me because I do love her. She has acted like a royal c*nt because i refused to stay friends. I mantained no contact for a while... recently, I have picked up the phone when she calls, all ...

A.   27 April 2011: Don't make your breakup too hard on you. Take it easy. The more you exert effort to forget her, the more it takes time and harder for you because you made her as a focus of your life's daily activity to think about. You accepted it's over, but you ... (read in full...)

How do I move on? I need to get her out of my mind for my kids sake....

Q.   I am 40 years old and married with my 35 years old wife for 17 years.we have 4 children and our relationship was not going good.ten months ago my wife had an outburst and she left me leaving our 4 children with me to look after.she said to me she ...

A.   27 April 2011:  I am thinking how a mother could be so insensitive enough to just simply abandon a husband and 4 children without having some valid reasons for doing so. According to you,the only reason why she left is because she is unhappy with the marriage, and ... (read in full...)

I found a text from another woman and it's tearing me apart!

Q.   hi i neeed some help.. i would realy appreciate every reply Basically I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years our relationship was going extremely well we were like sole mates we trusted each other with all our heart..I could feel his l...

A.   23 April 2011: You feel being betrayed and you feel the pain, and it is hard to forgive. You don't see him the same person anymore and you lost that trust you have for him..the ill feelings just come spontaneously...you cannot coax yourself to be ok and forget.. ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend of 5 years wants a break to figure out what she wants....I'm confused!

Q.   I am confused on the whole situation and am just looking for some advice. Basically, my gf wants to take a break for a little bit, mainly to figure out what she wants, and if the opportunity arises, she might date. We've been together for 5+ ...

A.   22 April 2011:  Breaking up is very hard, but facing the truth is the only way to liberate yourself from further misery and pain. That is what love is, setting someone free to be happy. Being confined to each other exclusively for five years is really devastating ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend of 5 years wants a break to figure out what she wants....I'm confused!

Q.   I am confused on the whole situation and am just looking for some advice. Basically, my gf wants to take a break for a little bit, mainly to figure out what she wants, and if the opportunity arises, she might date. We've been together for 5+ ...

A.   19 April 2011:  Take this situation as an opportunity to test her seriousness and faithfulness to your relationship. Maybe she got bored by the routine of five years of being together and she wasn't able to explore the other areas of her life outside your ... (read in full...)

I miss him, I'm heartbroken, but giving everything wasn't enough for him

Q.   Two weeks past since I broke up with him, and I am totally heart broken. All I can think about is him. When I wake up, walk to class, ride the bus, go to work, come back home, and before I go to sleep. My mind and heart are making sure that I am not ...

A.   13 April 2011: When the heart is broken, nothing is more heartbreaking than this, and mending a broken heart is no easy. I tell you, no one and nothing can heal a broken heart except "TIME". No amount of advice or words of wisdom could give comfort to ease the ... (read in full...)

Based on her behavior, so you think she loves me?

Q.   I am 22 years old and cute. there is a girl who is 2 years older than i am. anytime i sit discussing with her she loves just tickling, touching me in my face, ears, cheeks and sometimes kisses me nervously. she tells me most of her secrets on ...

A.   13 April 2011: Is this a joke or something? What do you call it if the lady does these things to a man? Man you are confused! Lol! If she doesn't like you, maybe she thinks you are just a cute ,little baby whose face is too nice to touch and fondle and tickle and ... (read in full...)

2 year break, no meeting each other, rationed phone time. Can we survive?

Q.   i've been in a relationship for 6 yrs, through college and my first job.. my boyfriend is 8 yrs my senior and we love each other with passion and intensity. now, the initial years were bliss as i was in college and he was not very focused on higher ...

A.   4 April 2011: The number of years of any love relatioship does not guarantee "forever". Even married couples who are married for many years would end up in divorce. How fragile it would be if both are still unmarried and the relationship is hanging on a weak ... (read in full...)

Do you think he's been cheating?

Q.   Hi and thanks My bf and I have been together about 3 years. Started off wonderful as most relationships do. He was so charming, expressive, and he would talk, and listen to me for hours. I fell hard and fast within 6 weeks we were living together....

A.   4 April 2011: An abusive relationship has a pattern, and my assessment according to your description of your relationship with him, I see many signs which fall on this category. Many fall as victims of abusive and controlling behavior of their partners... (read in full...)

After all this time, is it normal to feel so lost?

Q.   I am having problems coping with the breakup of my marriage, and am worried that I still can't get over her completely. She was my best friend above all else, and it was a tremendous loss. It has been a year since we broke up and while I feel out ...

A.   4 April 2011: If there's any sure fast medicine for healing a wounded heart,I'd give you the prescription for free. Unfortunately,based on my personal experience and other people's experience, only "TIME" can heal a broken heart. Healing cannot be forced, nor ... (read in full...)

My gf thinks I'm 22 but I'm really 16! Should I tell her??

Q.   Im a 16 year old boy , but i've been living a life of a 22 year old. I smoke cigarettes and booze. And i dont look my age. I look like a guy in 20's. I got a girl's phone number from my friend and fell in love with her through the phone. After ...

A.   3 April 2011: You must be something! How could she not have noticed that you are way far younger than her? You must have been too smart to act like a 22 year old man! Anyway, if you intend to go serious in your relationship with her,the earlier the better for you ... (read in full...)

LDR bf becoming invisible

Q.   hi i and my bf r in a long distance relationship And the cheapest way to connect is messenger We were chatting alot, like 7 or 8 hours a day in week-ends and summer vacation but now, he's coming invisible and dnt talk to me so i tried to send h...

A.   2 April 2011:  Have you ever thought that he can't talk to you in Yahoo because he's using it to chat with another one online? If you feel that there's a big decline from 7 to 8 hours down to 5 minutes, then I presume your uneasiness of the situation is valid. ... (read in full...)

Will going on a dating site make me feel better?

Q.   Your Open Question: What should I do? am really hurting:( ? I loved my ex boyfriend so much, but he lied, cheated on me and dumped me. He says he felt out of love with me:( last time I saw him I was really vulnerable and slept with him b...

A.   2 April 2011: He seems to be shopping around for a new relationship while you are nursing yourself from the hurt he caused you. Why jump into another relationship without first getting over the emotional pain he caused you? Be gentle with yourself. Take this ... (read in full...)

She broke up with me because I was a jerk but I want her back

Q.   well briefly, we've been in a relationship for 10 months, we met online, we were moving pretty quickly, she always said i was her everything, she loved me madly, she had nightmares about me leaving her for someone better... Recently i started ...

A.   1 April 2011: I think you've got some personal issues that need serious fixing. Otherwise,these personal unresolved issues will jeopardize not only this present relationship you have with your gf, but some other relationships you may have in the future if you ... (read in full...)

Anyone ever have a friend that eventually fell for you? Does it ever happen?

Q.   Suppose you have been friends with someone for a long time (eg,months or years) and the person sees you as a friend but has never had romantic feelings for you. If you've been friends for a long time but this person doesn't have feelings for you...

A.   31 March 2011: I suppose you're falling for a long time friend ( wink).It is a mixture of exciting and painful experience if all of a sudden, out of the blue, you find yourself falling in love with a long time friend without his knowledge.To act and behave ... (read in full...)

I want to change her opinions about me and I want her to fall for me!

Q.   i know this girl for 3 years...we were kinda friends and now i am totally in love with her. She is always nice to ppl, very sociable and good to talk to. She is beautiful and very smart. the problem is that i have been into her for like 6 month...

A.   31 March 2011: No amount of reason, not even the best opinion can change your mind and heart to look for another girl in your present situation..Why? Because you are sick at heart and the name of the disease is " You are in love"..Even if you tell yourself to look ... (read in full...)

I like a guy who I've been friends with for a while but I don't know if he likes me back?

Q.   I know a guy who i have been good friends with for around 5 years, and i have just started to like him in the past few months. He often flirts with me now, and I flirt back, but he also flirts with other girls so I dont know if he means it or if its ...

A.   31 March 2011: If a guy gives you more attention than what is needed for just an ordinary friend,I mean, extraordinary attention,spends more time to be with you,prefers your company than anyone among his female friends, I bet he likes you. Sometimes guy teasing a ... (read in full...)

He erased our relationship status and our pictures from Facebook, and his excuse was he forgot to tell me? Somehow I find that hard to believe.....

Q.   i had been dating a guy for over two years..and this may sound silly but, i just want to know from a males' perspective what the deal may be. okay, he and i were on each other's facebook pages and linked as being in a relationship...i had pictures ...

A.   31 March 2011: People set limitations to personal privacy in different levels, and out of respect of this inherent individual rights,no one, not even the closest of relationships has the right to question or violate that. What I'm trying to say is that if he ... (read in full...)

I want to be friends with him but it is very difficult and we aruge frequently! What should I do?

Q.   i have a friend whom i talk about current affairs, politics etc etc and most of the time he will say i'm not open minded and i'm too biased. sometimes he will stop talking about certain topics simply because he doesnt want to argue. but i want to ...

A.   31 March 2011: I find your situation interesting. Actually,arguing with him is just your way of getting his attention without realizing it.You want to outsmart him so you can get your way around him.. but you see,you can't make a guy like you, or get interested ... (read in full...)

What is going on in this dramatic situation?!?!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have very limited time to see each other because of our jobs and him being in law school as well; so please keep in mind as I continue this story, that weekends are usually our hang-out catch-up time--my boyfriend told me on ...

A.   31 March 2011: I think he got pissed off by your comment on how he spends his time with is friends..he might be a sensitive kind of guy. I guess he felt bad that you didn't appreciate his efforts of helping you ( drilling, etc ) in your house.It's like, after all ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has become distant; will this change?

Q.   ok me and my boyfriend had a fight the other night cause i didnt trust where he was when he went drinking and he text me the next day saying hes not happy anymore so i went round to his and he was in a kind of mood/trance type thing looking totally ...

A.   30 March 2011:  Give him what he wants. Yes, it sounds like he really needs some space. Men by general don't want to be tied to their gfs' interrogations as to their whereabouts. This is equivalent to a nagging wife. Women feel that they simply care about ... (read in full...)

My LDR boyfriend can be quite unreliable...do you think he'll call me back?

Q.   My LDR boyfriend can be quite unreliable at the best of times - and even when I ask him things he can never give me a straight answer! - Anyway, the other day I text suggesting we don't see each other again if he can't make more sense to me - and he ...

A.   30 March 2011: What does it mean? It means he doesn't care..period .On the other hand, (let's give him the benefit of the doubt) if you keep on texting him all the time, men do get pissed off if women can't leave them for a moment to live their lives without bugg... (read in full...)

I'm sending him this breakup note. Am I doing the right thing?

Q.   I need some external advice because i am a mess and i do not want to do anything i regret later. I used to go out with this guy and we were really in love. Then he just pulled back and we decided to stay friends. The problem is even that he liv...

A.   30 March 2011: You know what to do except to still keep in touch with him..Don't send email anymore. Delete him from your contacts,delete him from your memory, and love yourself instead..you only make yourself miserable by thinking he cares for you..you know he ... (read in full...)

Do I need space? Or am I subconsciously pushing myself away?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for two months, after an on-off relationship for two years. I am 28 and he is 26. The timing was finally right for us to be together, and we are so in love. He is the one, we already have plans for the future ...

A.   30 March 2011: People only really get to know one another when they live under the same roof. I'm afraid you are turned off by some petty things about him which you can't figure out by yourself, such as habits, or behavior you don't know before. ( I just ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure how to read my American boss. What do you think?

Q.   I’m a foreign student and working in my university while I am studding, Today I finished my job and it took 5 minutes longer than I suppose to work. I was cleaning my desk and putting the stuff on the places that they should be quickly to go because ...

A.   30 March 2011: You are still in your adjustment period in terms of getting along with people in a new culture and environment different from your own. Don't take things seriously. All good and bad things happening to you during your adjustment period are part of ... (read in full...)

No one knows how unhappy I am. I'd appreciate some advice.

Q.   I have been feeling very lonely and upset lately. I have a boyfriend of 6 years and everything is fine with him, but in the last while I have become really self conscious about how I look and I feel really awkward around people. I think that people ...

A.   30 March 2011: Have you heard of the sayings, "What you think you are, you are".The inner happiness is not something others give to us. It is an attitude.We don't force happiness to come into our lives. It is something we do and give to others, and come back to us ... (read in full...)

How should I ask him out?

Q.   I just broke up with my boyfriend and theres this guy i really like. Im too afraid to ask him out and i Dont know if he likes me. How should i ask him out? ...

A.   30 March 2011:  Don't ask him out if you are not sure if he is interested in you. Just be friendly and interesting. If he notices you, he'll initiate the move to ask you out. Isn't it more interesting? ... (read in full...)

He texts other women and now he wants me to marry him?

Q.   Hi everyone, i'v been in a relationship with my bf for 3years now, we've had good times and few bad times, when i noticed some messages in his phone, about how he misses and loved a particular girl. This has happened thrice, of which he apologised ...

A.   30 March 2011: Can a leopard change its spots? Some believe that after marriage, some little annoying habits of their partners will change. Unfortunately, while some things may change, those little unacceptable behavior of their partners don't change over time ... (read in full...)

Hurt he didn't call, am I overreacting?

Q.   I'm the kind of person that has always put in a lot of effort into my relationships. I used to go overboard with it but now I've definitely calmed down. I've really been trying to keep busy and not focus on my relationship because I know I have a ...

A.   30 March 2011: He might just want a little space for a while. Men tend to wiggle out if they are strangled to suffocation. They need space to exercise their independence. As you say, you put a lot of effort in the relationship.Don't you think you put too much in ... (read in full...)

He used to give me all his attention but now he's breaking my heart.... how should I react to this?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years now and it seems like he isn't bothered about me anymore even though he says he loves me. It's always me that has to make the effort to go out (he always says he has no money but then will go out ...

A.   30 March 2011: Truth hurts, but, girl, you have to accept the truth that your observations are valid. Don't waste your time and effort bringing the good old days to justify his claims that he still love you. Anything new is exciting, but when that new becomes old, ... (read in full...)

I'm not quite sure if I like her or not but I find myself thinking of her

Q.   Theres this girl i met at a friends barbeque a couple of weeks ago. Since then shes texted me, given me her number, asked me how my day was, called me at night and talked about her life, complimented me over the phone, laughed alot and listened to ...

A.   30 March 2011: You feel flattered by the attention you get from her. As a man, you were robbed of the thrill of chasing a woman, and instead,she's the one who initiated it to you. There's no doubt she likes you a lot, and wants to pursue you based on her ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to tell her. Can someone help me with this?

Q.   Hey. I am crushing on a girl right now. We met one and a half years ago, but never talk and aren't close. I don't see her often, so my main form of communication with her would be through digital means. I have been rejected a couple of times be...

A.   30 March 2011: How can you catch a fish if you don't go near the water? Know where she hangs out most often and make yourself visible.There's no other way to know her personally unless you exert effort to come close to her.Each girl has her own standard, and who ... (read in full...)

Does this sound like my LDR BF has fallen out of love with me?

Q.   My boyfriend and I live in separate countries, we've been together for 5 months and everything was great at first. But he'd have his days where he's all nice and lovely. Then the next he barely says two words. But lately I feel like the gap between ...

A.   30 March 2011: He might have been too confident about your relationship that he need not check you all the time as much as you do to him.You won't be able to check his feelings for you if you initiate the communication all the time. Let him miss you by keeping ... (read in full...)

He wants space. Will I be able to heal if I have to move on?

Q.   How do I get over him? I was with my fiance for almost three years. In that time we had a lot of ups and downs, mostly due to my mental illness. I cheated on him whilst I was ill and then tried to kill myself when we broke up, and then again a few...

A.   30 March 2011: Meeting someone new to make you feel better at this point is not a good option.If he is feels the same way as you do, he'll surely come back, but don't hope for it..time is the best healer. At this point, let yourself grieve. You are not alone in ... (read in full...)

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